Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket,
not your stub."


Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day", the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could".
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads "low bridge ahead."
Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of gas."



Snappy Answer #5
THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and
snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

BONUS Snappy Answer
A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" answered the blond." They're
watch dogs!"

Can't get enough? The BEST is LAST
A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a flight to
Dallas.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN
asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before
him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen
whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The TEXAN looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to
the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."