There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making thug steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly; then I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the thug said, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a client meeting and my client fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the neighbor, and then the cat bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;

"then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me ..."