A good-looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star.” Tall, good-looking, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to become a TV star, you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years…you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you MUST change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we won’t be doing business together" the guy said, and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER.....

The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...

“Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood. You told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it on television with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have become a star without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.”

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

Then there was the guy who went to the judge to get his name changed.The judge says "What's your name now"? He says Joe Shits. Judge says I understand,what do you want your new name to be? He says Frank Shits,cuz I'm tired of everybody saying " Hey Joe,wadda ya know".