Ole and Sven were privates serving on the Russian front. The Russkies had the Germans pretty well under control, so Sven and Ole were mustered out. The only problem was that it was Winter and thre was little transport available. They decided to ski home, several hundred miles. After days and days of herringboning, schussing and christying, Ole asked Sven, "What's da virst ting you gonna do when ya get home?" "Scrvrew my wife" said Sven. "Val, of course," said Ole. Vat's da second?" "Take off dese damn skiis!" said Sven.