Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo momma's so fat, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo momma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in!

Yo momma's so fat, I had to walk around her and got lost.

Yo momma's so fat, I took her to a dance and the band skipped.

Yo momma's so fat, I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo momma's so fat, McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats.

Yo momma's so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her!

Yo momma's so fat, after sex she smokes a turkey!

Yo momma's so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts!

Yo momma's so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma's so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma's so fat, everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil!

Yo momma's so fat, her big toe got stuck in the catflap.

Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is Ragu!

Yo momma's so fat, her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yo momma's so fat, her butt looks like 2 pigs fightin' over Milkduds.

Yo momma's so fat, her doctor's a grounds keeper.

Yo momma's so fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

Yo momma's so fat, her legs is like spoiled milk - white and chunky!

Yo momma's so fat, her nickname is "damn".

Yo momma's so fat, her picture fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her tits are in two different time zones.

Yo momma's so fat, her toes bleed when she walks!

Yo momma's so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds she'd get group insurance.

Yo momma's so fat, if she'd died you'd have to take her out in two trips.

Yo momma's so fat, it say on her driver's license Picture continued on back.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes a forklift to help her stand up.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!

Yo momma's so fat, light gets stuck near her.

Yo momma's so fat, mosquitoes see her and scream buffet!

Yo momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma's so fat, people use her dandruff as quilts.

Yo momma's so fat, sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma's so fat, she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma's so fat, she can smell bacon frying in Canada!

Yo momma's so fat, she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.

Yo momma's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo momma's so fat, she don't have cellulite she's got cellu-heavy!

Yo momma's so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma's so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

Yo momma's so fat, she gets stuck in her dreams!

Yo momma's so fat, she got a run in her blue jeans.

Yo momma's so fat, she got her baby pictures taken by satellite.

Yo momma's so fat, she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock?

Yo momma's so fat, she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma's so fat, she had a run in her jeans!

Yo momma's so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

Yo momma's so fat, she had stretch marks when she was a virgin.

Yo momma's so fat, she had to get out of bed to roll over.

Yo momma's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma's so fat, she has a part-time job as a trampoline!

Yo momma's so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo momma's so fat, she has her own area code!

Yo momma's so fat, she has her own brand of jeans: FA - AatAss Jeans.

Yo momma's so fat, she has her own gravity.

Yo momma's so fat, she has more rolls than a Mary Jane truck.

Yo momma's so fat, she has shocks on her toilet seat.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets!

Yo momma's so fat, she has to go outside to put on deodorant.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to go outside to sit around the house.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to lay down to tie her shoe.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to use hoola-hoops to hold her socks up.

Yo momma's so fat, she hides her goiter with her chin.

Yo momma's so fat, she influences the tides.

Yo momma's so fat, she irons her clothes in the driveway!

Yo momma's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo momma's so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.

Yo momma's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo momma's so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo momma's so fat, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma's so fat, she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Yo momma's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo momma's so fat, she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma's so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made skidmarks!

Yo momma's so fat, she steps on a scale and it goes one at a time please.

Yo momma's so fat, she takes baths in swimming pools.

Yo momma's so fat, she thinks Church`s Chicken`s a holy place.

Yo momma's so fat, she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand.

Yo momma's so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat, she uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses a mattress as a tampon.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses the freeway as a Slip n' Slide!

Yo momma's so fat, she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma's so fat, she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma's so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears a microwave for a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat, she wears two watches because she's in two time zones!

Yo momma's so fat, she went to the beach and sold shade!

Yo momma's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

Yo momma's so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.

Yo momma's so fat, she won Miss Bessie the Cow @YEAR@.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got her own post code.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got her own zip code!

Yo momma's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma's so fat, she's in two time zones at the same time!

Yo momma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma's so fat, she's sits on coal and farts out a diamond.

Yo momma's so fat, she's works in the movies -- as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat, the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.

Yo momma's so fat, the airline charges her round trip for each flight.

Yo momma's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear Caution! Wide Turn.

Yo momma's so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma's so fat, they invented super extra strength ultra SlimFast.

Yo momma's so fat, they mistake her for a country.

Yo momma's so fat, to her light food means under 4 Tons.

Yo momma's so fat, to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.

Yo momma's so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.

Yo momma's so fat, when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up!

Yo momma's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps she goes straight down to hell.

Yo momma's so fat, when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo momma's so fat, when she falls it measures on the Richter scale!

Yo momma's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it!

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to parties people scream Kool-Aid!

Yo momma's so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions!

Yo momma's so fat, when she has to haul ass it takes two trips!

Yo momma's so fat, when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma's so fat, when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.

Yo momma's so fat, when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sings, it's over!

Yo momma's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats!

Yo momma's so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.

Yo momma's so fat, when she turns around its her birthday.

Yo momma's so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome-back party.

Yo momma's so fat, when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.

Yo momma's so fat, when she walks she leaves snail tracks....

Yo momma's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo momma's so fat, when she wears her X jacket helicopters try to land.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wears red all the kids scream Koolaid!

Yo momma's so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma's so fat, when you put her in a Jacuzzi she makes her own gravy!

Yo momma's so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma's so fat, you can slap her thighs and ride the waves in!

Yo momma's so fat, you can't tell if she is coming or going...

Yo momma's so fat, you couldn't tell where her boobs end and her arms begin.

Yo momma's so fat, you gotta slam her thigh and ride the wave...

Yo momma's so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off of her.

Yo momma's so fat, your family portrait has stretch marks