A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training,completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aeroplane.

The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and threw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my arse."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over to the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250pds. He said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?" I said, "No sir, I'm too scared." So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and dropped his johnson out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big as a baseball bat! He said, "Boy, either you jump out the door, or I'm sticking this baby up you"

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first."