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A WOMAN FROM AUSTIN WROTE THIS, THIS IS FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas . . . Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding): 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids Don't limit your challenges . . . Challenge your limits | ||
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Brake fluid and Clorox. Hmmm. My Strength Is That I Can Laugh At Myself, My Weakness Is That I have No Choice. | |||
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I know what I'm doin' after work! Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready Theodore Roosevelt | |||
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I wanted to try # 8 as soon as I read it ! is there anything wrong with that ??? | |||
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Is Chlorox the same as Chlorine? I think we have Chlorine... | |||
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I KNOW we have brakefluid! | |||
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I tried it and nothing happened. | |||
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quote: quote: quote: Dang I was in the moode for a smoke Cheers, André Always always use enough... GUN & KNIFE | |||
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I'm proudly one of the 80% and have the scars to prove it! But what happens with the brake fluid and clorox? Do you have to ignite it? (I'm trying to plan for how much escape time is needed) | |||
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I don't know about brake fluid and clorox. I do know that a little commode cleaner(The Works) and some foil balls in a tightly sealed plastic pop bottle is amazing. Caution:Stand Back. My Strength Is That I Can Laugh At Myself, My Weakness Is That I have No Choice. | |||
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I think #11 sounds promising! Regards, Martin ----------------------- A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition. - R. Kipling | |||
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