Two bears were sitting at the side of the river near Ottawa. The smaller bear turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as cubs. I just don't get it.'

'Well, ' said the bigger bear, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians' replied the smaller bear.

'Hmmm ... I used to go after them too, but tourists are better. But, where are you catching the politicians?'

'Down near the parking lot by the Government buildings.'

'Hmm. How do you catch them?'

'Well, I hide under one of their cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the bigger bear, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.

the briefcase, if theirs are like ours, is likely full of $100 bills.

Buffet time...

Yes, but politicians get discounts from surgeons, because they only have two moving parts--their mouth, and their asshole, and they're both interchangeable.