"Why Women Are Superior!"

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

Men's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

We know The Truth about whether size matters.

If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

We never have to wonder if his penis was real.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We don't have to memorize Animal House, Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

We know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.