> DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
>
> Adventurous............Slept with all your mates
>
> 40-ish............49
>
> Athletic............No tits
>
> Average looking........Face like an arse
>
> Beautiful............Pathological liar
>
> Contagious smile........Does a lot of pills
>
> Educated............Was screwed to bits at university
>
> Emotionally secure......On medication
>
> Feminist............Fat
>
> Free spirit............Junkie
>
> Friendship first.........Former slut
>
> Fun.................Annoying
>
> Gentle.................Dull
>
> Good listener..........Autistic
>
> New age................Body hair problems
>
> Old fashioned..........No BJs
>
> Open minded............Desperate
>
> Outgoing...............Loud and very embarrassing
>
> Passionate.............Sloppy drunk
>
> Poet...................Depressive
>
> Professional............Bitch
>
> Romantic...............Frigid
>
> Social.................Crotch like a wizard's sleeve
>
> Voluptuous.............Very fat
>
> Large lady.............Immensely fat
>
> Wants soul mate.........Stalker
>
> Widow..................Murderer
>
> ============================
> Masturbation is not illegal, but if it were, people would
> probably take the law into their own hands.
> ============================
> What's in a name? All is in the name!
>
> 1. IACOCCA (the former Chrysler President/CEO) stands for :
> I
> Am
> Chairman
> Of
> Chrysler
> Corporation
> America
> coincidence?.......... try these!
>
> 2. BUSH (the American President)
> Beat
> Up
> Saddam
> Hussein !
>
> 3. CLINTON (remember him?)
> Call
> Lewinsky,
> I
> Need
> The
> Oral
> Now !
>
> However, no one can beat this one
>
> 4. OSAMA (WHO doesn't know him)
> Oh
> Shit,
> American
> Missiles
> Again !
> ========================
>
> Astronomers said this week that Europe will see one of the
> biggest meteor showers in history. Apparently, everyone in
> France was excited and wants to know, "What's a shower?"
>
>
> ===========================
> The manufacturer of a well-known tonic for people with "tired"
> blood received this testimonial from a little old lady who lived
> on a farm in Tennessee: "Before taking your tonic," the woman
> wrote, "I was too tired to hoe the fields or pick the cotton. But
> after only two bottles of your delicious mixture, I've become the
> best cotton-picking hoer in the county."