>>>PART I
>>>
>>> What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>>>
>>> Juan on Juan
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What is a Yankee?
>>>
>>> The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>>>
>>> The position of the dirt bag.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why is divorce so expensive?
>>>
>>> Because it's worth it.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
>>>
>>> One US leader.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>>>
>>> Doughnuts.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why is air a lot like sex?
>>>
>>> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>>>
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>>
>>>PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
>>>
>>>
>>> What do you call a smart blonde?
>>>
>>> A golden retriever.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>>
>>> Their personalities.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a blonde girlfriend and wife?
>>>
>>> 45 lbs.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
>>>
>>> None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
>>>caring, and good-looking?
>>>
>>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
>>>
>>> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
>>>has the biggest boobs?
>>>
>>> The blonde, because she's 18.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>>>
>>> Because they have cotton balls.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>>>
>>> Are you sure it's mine?"
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
>>>
>>> Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>>
>>> Mace will do that to you.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
>>>
>>> Everyone has the same DNA.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> PART III (Almost Done)
>>>
>>>
>>> What's the Cuban National Anthem?
>>>
>>> "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>>
>>> A different bar.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
>>>
>>> They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
>>>
>>> A speech impediment.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
>>>
>>> They're hiring.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>>
>>> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
>>> along with... "a recipe".
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>>
>>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a
>>>southern fairytale?
>>>
>>> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
>>>fairytale begins
>>> "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
>>>
>>>*************************************************************************
>>>
>>> Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>>
>>> No one's tall enough to go on the good ride

This was good!! I haven't seen most of them!

Hey, I'm over here in West Virginia. I don't think we even have DNA.
MORTIE for PRESIDENT !