1. The six stages of golf are: Sudden Collapse, Radical Change, Complete Frustration, Slow Improvement, Brief Mastery.
2. It's as easy to lower your handicap as it is to lower your hat size.
3. If you really want to be better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
4. If your driver is hot, your putter will be ice cold; if you can hit your irons, you will top your woods; if you are keeping your right elbow tucked in, your head will come up.
5. Progress in golf consists of two steps forward and ten miles backwards.
6. One good shank deserves another.
7. It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up.
8. No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to play worse.
9. Whatever you think you're doing wrong is the one thing you're doing right.
10. Any change works for three holes.
11. The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the people watching.
12. Never teach your wife to golf.
13. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about your golf swing.
14. Its surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
15. Confidence completely evaporates in the presence of fairway water.
16. The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.
17. It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.
18. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
19. You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
20. Out of bounds is always on the right for right handed golfers.
21. The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens.
22. No one with funny head covers ever broke par except Tiger Woods.
23. The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit.
24. Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.
25. No matter how far the shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.
26. If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it's probably because you're not aiming at anything.
27.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
28. The only thing you can learn from golf books is that you can’t learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn that fact.

Any sport that another person (caddy) will carry your clubs, wipe your shaft and CLEAN YOUR BALLS can't be all bad!

Hip