POSTED BY: NAME WITHELD

Last month while putting my purchases in my car
two twentysomething women approached my car with windex and paper towels, and proceeded to clean my windshield. I stood mesmerized by their plump breasts pressed up against the windshied as they vigorously sprayed, wiped, sprayed, wiped, sprayed and wiped. When they were done I offered them a few dollars which they refused. They asked if I would drive them to another Home Depot to which I said yes.
During the drive they started to have sex in the back seat and the next thing I knew one was crawling in the front seat with me, pulling down my zipper with her teeth and ******* my ****.
After we arrived at Home Depot they thanked me and got out. I reached for my wallet, to give them a tip, and found it missing.
I lost my wallet on Nov.
25th
27th
28th
Dec.
8th
9th
11th
12th

I'll probably lose my wallet on
15th
16th
and 17th as well.

I thought about a couple of those myself, but my wife warned me that I wasn't wired for 220.