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-You Might Be From Woodstock if:

-You’re devoutly vegetarian, but own a cat that’s killed every bird and chipmunk within 100 yards of your house.
-Your old, smoke belching, oil dripping, antifreeze leaking car is plastered with Save The Environment stickers.
-You carry a picture of Charles Manson in your wallet so the barber will remember how you like your hair cut.
-You DO talk to your children about drugs, but only when your stash starts disappearing.
-You can do an instant 15 minute dissertation on either Equality and Tolerance, or Why Vegetarians Are Superior to Bloodthirsty Unevolved Carnivorous Killers.
-You flock to hear a Tibetan Buddhist speak on how to achieve world peace, even though his own country is under total Chinese military domination.
-You lobby against guns, because you think they’re dangerous, but heat your house with a woodstove you found in the dump.
-The Blue Book value of your VW van goes up and down, depending on what you have stashed in the seat cushions, and how much gas is in the tank.
-You are anti-development, anti-logging, anti-tourist, and anti-industry, but bitch about how you can’t find work.
-You seek Enlightenment by traveling to India, where cows shit in city streets, and the people think that jumping into a polluted river is a religious experience.
-You sign any petition against anything with Nuclear in the name, even though you were too stoned in Physics class to remember the difference between Alpha and Gamma rays.
-You think that playing Bongo drums on the village green on Sundays entitles you to call yourself a Woodstock Musician.
-You instinctively inhale whenever you pass a dead skunk on the road.
-You’re the head of a local Animal Rights group, but drive a Lincoln Town Car with leather upholstery.*
-You teach training seminars in Clairvoyance, but ask students to register in advance.*
-You only eat certified organic veggies, but smoke dope from some Third World country, smuggled in some filthy ships’ bilge, and laced with unknown chemicals.*
-You protest against deer hunting, but your property is surrounded with a 7ft. high electric fence, so the deer starve in your neighborhood.*
*Not made up.

Lanny Steitz

Some observations, from living there..


Hippie redneck geezer
 
Posts: 209 | Registered: 24 August 2005Reply With Quote
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