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-You Might Be From Woodstock if: -You’re devoutly vegetarian, but own a cat that’s killed every bird and chipmunk within 100 yards of your house. -Your old, smoke belching, oil dripping, antifreeze leaking car is plastered with Save The Environment stickers. -You carry a picture of Charles Manson in your wallet so the barber will remember how you like your hair cut. -You DO talk to your children about drugs, but only when your stash starts disappearing. -You can do an instant 15 minute dissertation on either Equality and Tolerance, or Why Vegetarians Are Superior to Bloodthirsty Unevolved Carnivorous Killers. -You flock to hear a Tibetan Buddhist speak on how to achieve world peace, even though his own country is under total Chinese military domination. -You lobby against guns, because you think they’re dangerous, but heat your house with a woodstove you found in the dump. -The Blue Book value of your VW van goes up and down, depending on what you have stashed in the seat cushions, and how much gas is in the tank. -You are anti-development, anti-logging, anti-tourist, and anti-industry, but bitch about how you can’t find work. -You seek Enlightenment by traveling to India, where cows shit in city streets, and the people think that jumping into a polluted river is a religious experience. -You sign any petition against anything with Nuclear in the name, even though you were too stoned in Physics class to remember the difference between Alpha and Gamma rays. -You think that playing Bongo drums on the village green on Sundays entitles you to call yourself a Woodstock Musician. -You instinctively inhale whenever you pass a dead skunk on the road. -You’re the head of a local Animal Rights group, but drive a Lincoln Town Car with leather upholstery.* -You teach training seminars in Clairvoyance, but ask students to register in advance.* -You only eat certified organic veggies, but smoke dope from some Third World country, smuggled in some filthy ships’ bilge, and laced with unknown chemicals.* -You protest against deer hunting, but your property is surrounded with a 7ft. high electric fence, so the deer starve in your neighborhood.* *Not made up. Lanny Steitz Some observations, from living there.. Hippie redneck geezer | ||
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