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I used to know a guy that had some of the most tastelss pickup lines of anyone I knew.
Wer were warking on market Street in San Francisco when this drop dead gorgeous babe comes along walking the other way. My friend walked right up to her and said, "Pardon me, but do you fuck?" Without batting an eye, and with a straight face, she said, "No. But my brother does. Bring your mother around."
My buddies jaw dropped so far I thought it was gonna hit the ground. Most beautiful comeback I've ever heard.
Paul B.

Best one I was ever witness to was while on a weekend pass in Baltimore with 5 other GI's. One of the guys was pretty much a poster child for birth contol where looks was concerned. When a VERY HOT professional career type walked in he made the statement that he would be leaving with her. Of course this put us all into hysterics and the bets were made. We all moved closer to where we could hear the conversation at the bar. He walked up and told her: "I can do something to you that I promise you have never had done before" Her reply while looking at him with utter contempt was :And what would that be?" "I will lick your belly button" "I have had that done before and was not impressed" "But from the inside?" And he sticks his tounge out and honestly touched the bridge of his nose with it. Her eyes went wide in shock and she turned as red as a ripe tomato. He ended up leaving with her and we didnt see him until 5am monday morning for first formation when he came speeding up in her BMW sports car and she dropped him off telling him that she couoldnt wait until the next weekend.

WERE YOU IN THE SERVICE WITH GENE SIMMONS??????????????????

WERE YOU IN THE SERVICE WITH GENE SIMMONS??????????????????

You would of thought so. I am not sure if it shocked her or the rest of us more. Everyone went bug eyed. The look on her face when he did that was beyond belief. What was the best part of the whole thing was that she was more than happy to let the rest of us crash at her house on the weekends. She had a huge place right on Chesapeak Bay. It was really strange seeing a goofing looking guy like him with a very beautiful and classy lady like her. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum!!!

Things get pretty goofy around the shop and some of the guys like to joke with the manager by hitting on his girlfriend. I was in the office doing the police report while she was sitting at the other desk talking to the asst manager when the manager came in and asked "who said '----' to my girlfriend?" I stood up and said, "not me, if it were me I'ld say: 'wanna slip into the safe and set of the motion detectors?" They nearly fell over each other laughing.

How bout this one?
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?

Fordfreak