29 January 2004, 12:25
nelsonted>The mathematics of Romance
>The mathematics of Romance - and other assorted conundrums
>
>Some real truths here. Keep reading.
>
>Smart man + smart woman = romance
>
>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>
>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>
>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>
>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>
>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>
>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>
>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>
>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>
>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>HAPPINESS
>
>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
>
>
>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
>her at all.
>
>LONGIVITY
>
>Married men live longer than single men..... but
>
>Married men are a lot more willing to die.
>
>MEMORY
>
>Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
>remembering the same thing.
>
>APPEARANCE
>
>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>
>Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>
>A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is
>the beginning of a new argument.
>
>COMPREHENSION
>
>There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage
>and after marriage.
>
>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
>
>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
>cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
>same thing to them at funerals.
>
30 January 2004, 02:41
W. WilsonExcellent! Gotta show it to my wife.
30 January 2004, 02:51
geekayR.I.P. W.Wilson.He was a brave soul.
30 January 2004, 09:24
W. WilsonNaaaa, she'll think it's hilarious.