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You know you're a redneck when......
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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.


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Steve Traxson

 
Posts: 1641 | Location: Green Country Oklahoma | Registered: 03 August 2007Reply With Quote
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Jeff Foxworthy is looking for you.


NRA Patron Life Member Benefactor Level
 
Posts: 1283 | Registered: 15 December 2008Reply With Quote
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I'm guilty of No. 9. Wink

Grizz


Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man

Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln

Only one war at a time. Abe Again.
 
Posts: 4211 | Location: Alta. Canada | Registered: 06 November 2002Reply With Quote
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Got a mechanic buddy that when he + his wife were watching Jeff Foxworthy + he commented on if you have a transmission in your bath tub.Dayton + his wife looked at each other + he said,"Don't say one word."


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Picture of Slowpoke Slim
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Well I did once mow my yard and find a car. But that was a long time ago. Never did the transmission in the bathtub.


Si tantum EGO eram dimidium ut bonus ut EGO memor
 
Posts: 1146 | Location: Bismarck, ND | Registered: 31 August 2006Reply With Quote
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