You are getting sleepy, you are very tired and it is impossible for you to keep your eyes open. Go to sleep Mort, do not resist, you know you want to go to sleep, so close your eyes, sleep feels good, and you want to feel good, don't you Mort? Yes Mort, close your eyes and just relax, relax, relax, sleep, sleep, sleep. Now that you are asleep, I want you to listen only to my voice. Hear the words and do as I say. You will do as I say. When you awake, you will go to the nearest railroad tracks. Find a secluded place in the middle of a curve. Notice how inviting those two matal rails are? Yes, that would make a fine place to lay down and take a nap. That rail right there would make a nice pillow, now wouldn't it. Go on, lay down right there, and don't worry about that whistle or rumble you hear off in the distance, it's just the Union Pacific band playing a soothing sound that will help you to go to sleep! Pleasant dreams, Mort!

Now that is funny!