CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People
Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true?
Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go bra-less. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 60 plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!

quote:

Originally posted by butchloc:
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Today I read in the morning newspaper: there's a one gave birth to a daughter in 62. So try - maybe it will.

Anthony Quinn had twelve children, the last born when he was 81 years old. But it took four women, three of them wives, to do it.

At age 23, Christopher Quinn (born October 27, 1938 - died March 15, 1941)
At age 26, Christina Quinn (born December 1, 1941)
At age 27, Catalina Quinn (born November 21, 1942)
At age 30, Duncan Quinn (born August 4, 1945)
At age 37, Valentina Quinn (born December 26, 1952)
At age 47, Francesco Quinn (born March 22, 1963 - died August 5, 2011)
At age 49, Danny Quinn (born April 16, 1964)
At age 51, Lorenzo Quinn (born May 7, 1966)
At age 57, Sean Quinn (born February 7, 1973)
At age 61, Alex A. Quinn (born December 30, 1976)
At age 78, Antonia Quinn (born July 23, 1993)
At age 81, Ryan Quinn (born July 5, 1996)

Well, well - I meant woman in 62! For man it's more simple.

Butch there are a lot of 60+ individuals on this forum. At least seven of those questions seemed aimed at me. You are a marked man my friend.

Let someone else open your mailbox, and look under the hood of your car before you start it. I'm just sayin'.

quote:

Originally posted by Kensco:
Butch there are a lot of 60+ individuals on this forum. At least seven of those questions seemed aimed at me. You are a marked man my friend.

Let someone else open your mailbox, and look under the hood of your car before you start it. I'm just sayin'.

Amen!
Old Zeke

HaHaHaHaHahahahahaahah!!!!