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Comments made by men during colonoscopies

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29 February 2004, 14:25
Plinker603
Comments made by men during colonoscopies
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there."
06 March 2004, 11:51
Matt Norman
Having experienced the "silver bullet", I found those quite funny.

During that experience I was stoned on high-order drugs the doctors gave me (No way I was giving it up easy!) During the experience I got to watch on the color camera monitor.

It was like "Hamstervision".
06 March 2004, 15:42
N. S. Sherlock
My brother, the doctor, the recipient of all this kind of stuff I send him to use in his retirement joke book, tells me the most memorable remark he has heard from a sedated patient, Bill, was "No, not now Mike, maybe in the morning." YETCH!
06 March 2004, 16:13
Nazgul
It didn't hurt until they had to change the tape in the camera, Ouch!!
07 March 2004, 02:04
befus
Been there , done that. I think they usd a 150 watt bulb on mine...............................
08 March 2004, 08:56
gerald416

I am scheduled for my first colonoscopy on March 25. Thanks to you guys I am now approaching it with fear and dread! Now I understand what a female virgin feels on the approach of wedding night! (No jokes,please! At 73, this male "virgin" is entitled to be treated with some dignity)Smiler
08 March 2004, 09:56
Hobie
I'm sorry, but I don't think of dignity and colonoscopy as being in the least bit related. I hope you have a more pleasant time of it.

Just in passing, my father-in-law said he was so doped up for his that he only remembers the nurse laughing at him... Now THERE'S DIGNITY for you.
08 March 2004, 11:16
gerald416
Quote:

I'm sorry, but I don't think of dignity and colonoscopy as being in the least bit related. I hope you have a more pleasant time of it.

Just in passing, my father-in-law said he was so doped up for his that he only remembers the nurse laughing at him... Now THERE'S DIGNITY for you.



Hobie:

LOL. She was not laughing at him. She was smiling seductively at an older man who had come through a grueling experience and remembering that older men are experienced at making women happy. (Gee! if I talk this way now, can't you just imagine what I'll be like under sedation!)
09 March 2004, 07:53
Hobie
Quote:

Quote:

I'm sorry, but I don't think of dignity and colonoscopy as being in the least bit related. I hope you have a more pleasant time of it.



Just in passing, my father-in-law said he was so doped up for his that he only remembers the nurse laughing at him... Now THERE'S DIGNITY for you.





Hobie:



LOL. She was not laughing at him. She was smiling seductively at an older man who had come through a grueling experience and remembering that older men are experienced at making women happy. (Gee! if I talk this way now, can't you just imagine what I'll be like under sedation!)





We can only hope. However, if you had EVER met my father-in-law you wouldn't think that. Fairly good looking in his younger days, they've always called him "Shorty". Now he has the appearance of something of a cross between Hobbit and Gnome. More to the point, even though he's slow to take offense he truly believes she was laughing at him. Maybe it was the sedation...
09 March 2004, 08:08
bobby van der Putten
Although I am no expert, I believe the exact word is "COLOSCOPY". This side of the pond when we see a colonoscopy, it's more likely that we watch a movie on our former colonies, like America....
09 March 2004, 11:57
scw
That makes sense, I think of France when someone mentions them as well.
13 March 2004, 00:38
cewe
In Europe it�s colonoscopy -coloscopy sounds like a kids game: "The new game from Martell!".

Colonoskopies are serious business: Mine wasn�t that bad, the gastro was a lot worse.

I didn�t get a sedative...