You'll have to privide your own Irish accent for this one.....

a New Jerseyite is visiting Ireland on holiday. As he is walking down a rural lane, with hedgerows on each side, he hears a disturbance in the bush to one side.

So, he peaks through the brambles,and lo and behold, is appalled to see what can only be a leprechaun, in the act of "satisfying himself".

Startled, the young Jersey guy gulps and coughs. Naturally the leprechaun looks up equally startled. Then he says, "Aye laddie, you've caught me. Now I have to give you three wishes...anything you want, but choose carefully..."

Well, our American friend thinks and thinks, and then thinks some more, then he decides:

"First, I'd like to be the best looking man in the world." "Well, now ye are," says the leprechaun, snapping his fingers.

"Second, I'd like eternal health." says the Yank." "Good thinkin' me lad," says the leprechaun, and with a snap of his fingers adds, "And it shall always be so......"

"For my third wish, I'd like an eternal supply of money', Mr. New Jersey says..." "Well, me boy, ye'll ne'er be able to spend all that's now being credited to your account as we speak. Every time your bank balance falls below 10,000 pounds sterling, another 10,000 will automatically appear in it", says the leprechaun, and snaps his fingers yet again.

Well,, the Jerseyite is delighted, as you can imagine, and turns to sally forth through the world to enjoy his great good fortune.

But the leprechaun calls out,"Laddie!! Hold on there, we are nae quite done yet!"

"What more is there?", asks the American. The leprechaun replies, "Surely ye have heard that all leprechauns are ho-o-o-mo-sexual? "No" says the Yank, I hadn't. What difference does that make, anyway?"

Well, to seal the deal, ye must allow me to have sex one time with you, here and now, or your three wishes are void".

This naturally severely shakes the young man. He thinks and thinks and thinks yet again. At last, he decides he just cannot do without his new gifts and the life they will bring, and, anyway, no one else is there and no one will ever know, and it is only once, after all.

So, at last he concedes, and ducks behind the bushes with the leprechaun, who lowers the young man's trousers and begins to have his way with him.

In "mid-stride," so to speak, the leprechaun is overcome with pleasure, and says, "Aye laddie, it is obvious you have never done this before, you are so tight...you must be a virgin. How old might you be, forsooth?"

"Thir-t-t-t-y-f-o-u-r", the young man gasps.

"Begorrah!", exclaims the leprechaun, "Thirty-four! It is truly hard to give faith to....


and yer still believin' in leprechauns??!!"