Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may easily be
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We
do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
that proper exchange ideas and information can continue in an effective
manner.

1) Try Saying: I think you could use more training
Instead Of: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

2) Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter
Instead Of: She's a ball-busting bitch.

3) Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4) Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of: No Fucking way.

5) Try Saying: Really?
Instead Of: You've got to be shitting me!

6) Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a shit.

7) Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project
Instead Of: It's not my fucking problem.

8) Try Saying: That's interesting
Instead Of: What the fuck?

9) Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented
Instead Of: This shit won't work.

10) Try Saying: I'll try to schedule that
Instead Of: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of: He's got his head up his ass.

12) Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of: Eat shit and die.

13) Try Saying: So you weren't happy with it?
Instead Of: Kiss my ass.

14) Try Saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
Instead Of: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

15) Try Saying: I don't think you understand
Instead Of: Shove it up your ass.

16) Try Saying: I love a challenge
Instead Of: This job sucks.

17) Try Saying: You want me to take care of that?
Instead Of: Who the hell died and made you boss?

18) Try Saying: I See
Instead Of: Blow me.

19) Try Saying: He's somewhat insensitive
Instead Of: He's a prick.

We feel this will lead to a happier, healthier work environment for
everyone!

Thank You,
Human Resources

Instead of calling it: PC Office talk.
Why dont you say. God damn fuckin office pinky fag, lyin ,bullshitin worthless,lazyass,office pussy talk.

Yep just what he said.

In the staff-tent of a Ranger company, I noticed a very similar list called Technical Staff Terms or something like that. It was then I realized the true meaning of the communication between our company commander and the CO - our captain did follow the list word for word!



I remember one example ( rather free translation):

Spoken: Yes Sir, that is a course of action I have seriously contemplated.

Tru meaning: I don't give a shit, I have more important things to do.







/Martin