Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have plenty of time to waste, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried it, but that I'd lost 50 pounds in two weeks before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works every morning you load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I said "No, I ran out in the street to sniff an Irish Setter's Ass and a truck ran over us both."

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Now I can't go back to Walmart.

Better watch what you ask retired people.


They have all the time in the world to think of Shit like this.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaadddd Dog!!

Rich