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Deer Huntin' Diary
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Picture of MuskegMan
posted
1:00 am - Alarm clock rings.
2:00 am - Hunting partner arrives - drags you out of bed.
3:00 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup.
3:05 am - Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am - Set up camp - forgot the tent.
4:30 am - Head into the woods.
6:05 am - See eight deer.
6:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07 am - "Click."
6:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill.
8:00 am - Head back to camp.
9:00 am - Still looking for camp.
10:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is.
Noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets. Eight deer come back.
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 pm - Rescued.
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 pm - Arrive back in camp.
3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 pm - Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.
6:00 pm - Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp.
6:01 pm - Load gun.
6:02 pm - Fire gun.
6:03 pm - One dead pickup truck.
6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.
6:07 pm - Fall into fire.
6:10 pm - Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire.
6:15 pm - Take pickup - leave partner and his deer in the woods.
6:25 pm - Pickup boils over - hole shot in block.
6:26 pm - Start walking.
6:30 pm - Stumble and fall - drop gun in the mud.
6:35 pm - Meet bear.
6:36 pm - Take aim.
6:37 pm - Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud.
6:38 pm - Make mess in pants.
6:39 pm - Climb tree.
9:00 pm - Bear departs - wrap %&*$#@ gun around tree.
Midnight - Home at last.
Next day - Watch football games on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces - place in envelope and mail to Game Warden with very clear instructions on where to place it.


 
Posts: 2097 | Location: S.E. Alaska | Registered: 18 December 2003Reply With Quote
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Picture of ARhunter42019
posted Hide Post
OMG! LOL that's the one i rewrote to make more sense, and be funnier, that's my version LOL WOW i never thought it would make the rounds like that.... Did Derf e-mail that to you? or did you see in on the Bushnell Boards? This is such a trip.


The chainsaw says: Run Kit Kitt Kitty
 
Posts: 84 | Location: Cat Hell, where cats suffer | Registered: 28 August 2005Reply With Quote
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Nope, don't know this gent from Adam, Terry! Just goes to show though, a good jole is universally appreciated! thumb derf


Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati
 
Posts: 3450 | Location: Aldergrove,BC,Canada | Registered: 22 February 2003Reply With Quote
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