I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb....and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. Rita Rudner

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. Maryon Pearson

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. Gilda Radner

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. Marie Corelli

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. Baroness Edith-Summerskill

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt