A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off, or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!" St. Peter was impressed.. "When did this happen?" he asked. "Just a couple minutes ago"