RIP - That is a great quote. I think I'm going to write to the people at Immodium and offer up a new slogan - "Fart without Fear".

Get your copy at amazon.com. This may be my next avatar:

Or as I tell most of my post op patients "No food till you fart."

For RIP ( big bore fan) that might be FART LOUDLY.

The word "fart" was indeed good medical terminology once upon a time, until its propriety was corrupted by slapstick and ribaldry.

This reminds me of Walter. His reputation has been corrupted through too much taking of liberty with his good nature.

Just as a "fart" is an healthful emission signifying good bowel function, nevertheless, the term has become "funny" and vulgar in pronunciation and in its actual sound of gas emancipation, more so in some social situations than others.

Same for Walter. Though still as brilliant, virile, vigorous, and potent as ever, he has become the "butt" of never ending jokes.

I wish to solicit character witnesses for the honor of Walter, the other side of the story, while waiting for Saeed and buddies to fire up the fart machines, and post some more hunt reports.

I got the "screamers" in TZN in 2003. Thank God my PH had some meds that took care of the problem. His line was, "in a couple of days, you can fart with conficence!"

Bull1

Pfffft! Thank you very much.

I sure hope Saeed posts a hunting report soon, this thread has gotten stale and smelly.

(and yes, I'm to blame!!!!!)



Don

Please post...The suspense is killing me and I need to be in a living state for work tomorrow!

quote:

Originally posted by RIP:
I wish to solicit character witnesses for the honor of Walter, the other side of the story...

I can't think of a better way to say it, but I guess he's probably the sweetest guy I have ever had the privelege of meeting. And one of the funniest too! We should all be so lucky as to have a fellow like that as a best friend or relative....even with the commensurate "trail of destruction".






Cheers,
Canuck

That buffalo was not charging us. I think it was just running away, it just chose the wrong direction. As he came out of the grass, he saw us and veered to his left. Giving me a chance to break his neck. He fill into a hole. And on the video it looks quite funny, as he disappeares completely at the shot.


I have not posted any reports in the past couple of days, because we have not shot anything except one kongoni shot by Dwight. The buffalos have been giving us the run around. We have followed numerous dugga boys, and herds. All of them either cross the border to the next concession, or cross the river to the other concession. We have already walked over 100 kilometers chasing these lot, and until today they had the upper hand.

There are several lion prides on this concession, and it seems they are giving the buffalo quite a hard time. We have found several buffalo killed by lions.

The day before yesterday, we played what Walter calls 'silly buggers' with several lionesses.

First thing in the morning, we saw one lioness slinking away close to one of our baits. We then saw two more hiding in the grass, not more than 50 yards from the truck.

We found the tracks of a herd, and followed them. We were walking down a valley, with some trees and grass at the edge. As we got to about 30 yards from the place, we heard some growling, and three lionesses took off in different directions. We walked closer, and Alan suggested we look if a male might be hiding in the grass still. We walked closer, and suddenly another grown comes out, and the grass less than 10 yards started moving - luckily away rfom us. A very bigg lioness appeared at the other end, running away from us.

We continued to follow those buffalo, until they crossed into the next concession.

Yesterday was no different. We spent all day chasing one lot or another, but never even managed to see them. On a couple of occasions we heard then run away. But, the bush was too thick to see anything. We ended up at a junction of the river and had lunch, and a swim.

Today we decided to go to another part of the concession, where we had seen dugga boys tracks. We started following them before 8, and less than an hour we heard them run off into some hills. We continued to follow them. The terrain was terrible. Up and down. Up and down. By about 1 we heard them runn off close by in the grass. We ran after them. A few minutes later, we saw one down in a valley, looking at us from behind a tree. I put a bullet into his chest, and he took off. Two others ran towards us in the grass and stopped. I fired at one's head as he stopped, dropping him. The other ran a couple of yards and stopped. A bullet into his head dropped him too. We suddenly had 3 bulls dead within 15 yards of each other.

We walked back to our truck, and were caught in a thunderstorm. Getting well and truly soaked. We stopped under some trees until the rain stopped. Continued back to our truck, had lunch and headed for home.

We are moving camp tommorrow. And if anything happens I will try to report.

Everyone is having an absolutely great time. From where I am sitting right now I can see Dwight, Walter, Todd, Alan, Leoni and Wayne by the river. They are advicing Dwight on the finer points of fishing for crocs!

5 buff down so far...that's not too bad.

Glad to hear everyone is having a great time. Please say Hi to all of them for me!

Hope the buff are less spooky at the next camp!

Cheers,
Canuck

Hope you have better luck with the buff from now. 3 Buff within 15 yards of each other doesnt happen everyday well done.

quote:

Originally posted by RIP:


This reminds me of Walter. His reputation has been corrupted through too much taking of liberty with his good nature.

Just as a "fart" is an healthful emission signifying good bowel function, nevertheless, the term has become "funny" and vulgar in pronunciation and in its actual sound of gas emancipation, more so in some social situations than others.

Same for Walter. Though still as brilliant, virile, vigorous, and potent as ever, he has become the "butt" of never ending jokes.

Do not mean to be insulting, but my goodness RIP, Have you suddenly gone a little bit queer for Walter?

Virile and potent? Come back to reality...walk towards the sound of my voice!

No not queer. Just thought Walter needed some ego strokes after all the abuse he has suffered here. The language was supposed to call to mind attributes of Albert Einstein and G. Gordon Liddy rolled into one persona: Walter

BTW, Canuck, thanks for the character reference, and the avatar. Looks like Albert has gas! Or he just had his wife discover the mistresses.

Meanwhile Saeed continues to swim with the crocodiles ...

quote:

BTW, Canuck, thanks for the character reference, and the avatar. Looks like Albert has gas! Or he just had his wife discover the mistresses.

Your welcome, but, hey, it stopped working! Its an animated gif...Einstein is supposed to stick his tounge out! I will check the file I sent and make sure its not corrupted.

Cheers,
Canuck

Saeed- Always enjoy getting to hunt with you via the daily reports. Your past hunts have allowed time for your skill with the camera to capture some little feathered friends, landscapes, and smaller species. Please see if you can find the time for these again.

Canuck,
Your file was not corrupt as received. Only corrupted after I froze it and degraded it's quality to the desired effect. Thanks.

Now back to a breaking news report from the BBQ pit where Master Chef Walter has been working his culinary magic on buffalo Fillet Mignon ...

quote:

Canuck,
Your file was not corrupt as received. Only corrupted after I froze it and degraded it's quality to the desired effect. Thanks.

internet dinosaur, my arse!

Cheers,
Canuck

quote:

Originally posted by RIP:
Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said: "Fart proudly."

So, we finally have your meaning of "let'er RIP".

Baked beans with the BBQ-ed buffalo?

Alas, so soon the thread grows stale and "smelly" again and it is not all DRG's fault.

Get Walter to post something. We gotta have some relief here. A post from Walter would be like a breath of fresh air.

Walter reminds me of my grandfather of whom I owe much. The clear eye, steadiness of hand, strong jaw, pure physical energy and muscle mass,always eager to help those around him more thoroughly enjoy life.



SFC E7 (retired)

Well, I made a mistake by saying we were going to the Selous today.

We are gling tommorrow.

Today Walter shot a kongoni - in his dick! I had to run after it and finish it off!

I honestly do not know how he gets into all these screw ups!

Todd shot a buffalo today also.

We chased two herds, found one of them, but were not able to see any mature bulls to shoot.

Will report hopefully with more good news day after tommorrow.

Well, I give up on trying to debunk the idiocy of Walter.

No worries RIP. You gave it a good try, nobody else could have done better. Walter is to hunting what the Pink Panther is to criminalists.Delightfully funny as well as inept. You got to pull for him even though you know he will let us down in the end eventually if not right away.

Bless you Walter, and the pecker shot kongoni as well.

Walter a Pink Panther?
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.
.
.
.
.
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quote:

Today Walter shot a kongoni - in his dick!

Does he plan to mount it?

Walter shot the kongoni in the dick, is this his idea of birth control.


At least Saeed was there to put the poor animal out of its intense misery.

Just to recap yesterdays events, and give you all an idea of what happens when Walter is involved in the equation.

We saw a warthog, which we thought might be a good candidate for him to shoot. He got off with Roy and Alan and walked about 200 yards from us. We were all watching the proceedings. They stopped, and glassed the warthog. A discussion seems to have started. After a few minutes, they turned around and came back. It appeared that the warty wasn't good enough. And what added to Walter's grumbling was the presence of a kongoni bull right next to the warthog. And what is more, both these animals were no more than about 70 yards from where Walter was standing, with itchy fingers. He thought it was all a conspiracy by the Vincents not to allow him an easy shot.

The fact that both animal were immature did not sink into his head.

As they got closer, I asked "Did he run away?"
Walter "No THEY did not! They are still there looking back at us laughing. I don't know what sort of professional hunters these friends of yours are! A beautiful kongoni and an ENORMOUS warty were just looking at us not even 80 yards away. I could have shot BOTH! But, of course, these two have a conference, and decide it was too easy. Now we have to go look for something more difficult to shoot! Here is your rifle!"

We drove around, and found some buffalo tracks. They seemed to be heading towards another road, so we drove along, to see if they have crossed that road too. This seems to shorten the amount of time and distance we have to track them.

About an hour later, we saw them up in the hills. We jumped our of the truck and got downwind of them. We managed to get to about 200 yards from them. We looked for a mature bull, but, it seemed that this herd was only cows, calves and young bulls.

We left them and carried on. We went to the river and had lunch.

After our lunch, we started to drive back to camp, as everyone has to pack and get ready for the drive to the other camp. Alan, Wayne and lance would drive, leaving at 3 in the morning. The rest of us would be picked by a plane about 1 PM.

On the way we saw an old kngoni bull, which we thought might be a good candidate for Walter to practice on.

He got out of the truck with Roy and Alan. 50 yards from the truck, Roy put the shooting sticks up, and Walter took his position. After what seemed about 30 minutes, Walter fired. We were watching from the truck, and could see Walter trying to load again, while Roy was doing some sort of a dance with his hands in front of his face. There was another shot. They all ran, and we ran after them.

It transpired that as Walter ejected the empty, it flew straight into Roy's mouth, and while he was trying to spit the empty shell, and at the same time telling Walter to shoot again, some confusion ensued.

We found some blood, and followed the kongoni. After a while Walter turned around.

"Here, take the gun, go and kill that kongoni. You need the practice"

Philip, one of our trackers "He does not need practice. You need to practice"

Walter "You want us to follow your blood trail too?"
Philip, seeing that I already had the rifle by now "You cannot hit a kongoni standing still. I will run and you will not be able to hit me"

We followed the kongoni, and after about 3/4 or a mile we found him and killed him.

We found that Walter hit him low in the rear leg, the bullet going forward and cutting his penis off!

We loaded our kongoni and got back on the road again to camp. We saw 2 sable bulls, both were too young to shoot.

We got back to camp, and soon Todd and Dwight came back too, with a buffalo bull Todd had shot.

The trucks were loaded, and we all had dinner. Alan, Lance and Wayne were planning to wake up at 2, and drive out at 3.

At 1 o'clock the man who was supposed to wake Alan up at 2 decided to go wake Walter up! This might sound as some sort of joke, but, I can asure you it is just the normal effect Walter has on proceedings!

Walter got up, wasn't sure why he was being awakened at this hour. He went to Roy's tent.

Walter "ROY! ROY! Why is this man waking me up now?"

Alan and his crew were woken up, and apparently got ready to go.

At 2 o'clock, the same guy who woke Walter up was seen making a straight line to Walter's tent.

Alan asked him where he was going. He said he was going to wake Walter up!

I slept through all this fun, and in the morning I got all the blame.

We packed all our stuff, and were ready to go. We spent the rest of the morning walking by the river and taking photos.

We drove to the air strip, and at 2 our plane came and we took off on a 35 minute ride to our new camp. Beautifully situated on the Kilimbero River. With hippos grunting none stop.

Alan, Wayne and Lance have not made it yet. That is 13 hours on the go so far and they have not arrived.

Hopefully it won't be too long before they arrive. We are planning to have an early dinner, and hit the sack for an early start.

Hippo, croc and buffalo are on the cards, as well as many other animals.

I will try to post a report tomorrow.

Hope you guys have a even better time at the new camp. Maybe someone should give Walter a wake up call again at 2 am

Thanks Saeed! I wish you good luck in the new camp.
You didn't by chance leave Walter in the other, did you?

A hot rifle case in his mouth? Maybe the blood trail was his. That has to hurt.

The rest of the story makes complete sense to me since Walter is there. The guys that drove 13 hours probably would do it again to avoid Walter.

New expletive for a Walter screwup: Kongoni Cajones!!!

Sounds like you are having a great time.

Enjoy it.

Gerhard

When will someone make a movie "Walther in the Emirates" starring Walther as Walther LOL

Please Saeed post some pictures !!!!

L

I thought I will put a few words down now. It is 6 in the morning in our new camp by the Rufiji River - not the Kilimbero as I mistakingly I mentioned yesterday. We sat by the fire last night, waiting for our friends who drove over to arrive, The moon came up, making a spectacular sight. And everyone who had a digital camera was trying to take photos of it rising over the river.

Alan, Wayne and Lance arrived at 10. It had taken them 18 hours to get here. By GPS the distance is about 130 miles, and took us about 35 minutes by plane.

I am sitting at the river bank, I can see several hippos feeding out on the bank, and a few waterbuck. Two crocs are out on the bank, which is unusual at this time of day. Apparently they shot a 14 footer 300 yards from the camp a few days ago.

I had to take the stock off my rifle to clean and oil it. As we got caught in a downpour the other day, and I was worried some water might have gotten under the action. Apparently it did not. But I gave it a good coat of oil. I like to check the zero each time the action is taken off the stock. So that is going to be our first order of the day.

Then the plan is to go out and discover what is in this new concession.

We had breakfast and left camp abit late today, to give our friends who drove over a few hours of rest.

It stormy and wet, and appart from driving along a very beautiful countryside, neither us nor our friends hunting with Lance got anything today.

Got up at 5 as usual, had breakfast, and left camp by 5.45. Beautiful day - hopefully should last and give us a chance for some hunting.

We saw a bunch of impala, and decided to shoot one. And as usual, he was behind a log. I had to use the side of the shooting sticks - by kneeling down, to be able to see him and shoot. We loaded him up and continued. About an hour later we found a herd of kongoni and I shot one of them.

We continued searching for buffalo. We found the tracks od a herd about lunch time by a water hole. We decided to have lunch there, then follow the buffalo.

We had lunch, while the trackers skinned the kongoni. It started to rain. Nelson made a run to the truck to get my rifle, whispering that he could see something by the water hole. I gladly took the rifle from him, chambered a round, and walked to where he was pointing. We all saw a lone bull elephant drinking. A discussion followed between Alan and Roy on whether the bull was shootable. It seems borderline, but somehow the longer they looked at him, the less borderline he remained. He had his fill and walked off. We went to measure his foot prints, and found them to be about 20 inches. This is apprently quite large for this area. Our game scout assured us this was too small, and we would find a bigger one.

We went after the buffalo herd. About a quarter of mile further we came to the place where they spent their mid day siessta. We also ran into a herd of elephant cows. They took exceptio to us getting close and did not like it. We avoided them and continued on our tracks. About an hour and half later we saw a sable bull. Tried to shoot it without too much success. Tracking the buffalo continued. An hour later we heard them running. We ran after them, and stopped as they did to look back at us. We saw quite a few young bulls, but none old enough to shoot. We chased them for a bit more, without being able to see anything shootable. They decided to go downwind, so we left them and walked back to our truck.

Got there just before dark, and drove back to camp.

We saw so many rabits on the drive back.

Todd shot a zebra and a kongoni too.

That sure sounds like a lot of fun, even if the buffalo aren't cooperating that well!

Saeed, do you know which concession numbers you guys are hunting this year? Just curious so I can check out google earth and daydream along with the stories!

Cheers,
Chris

Saeed,

Sounds a lot more exiting than this mornings traffic in Dubai.

Enjoy it.

Gerhard