I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid b!tch...why else would I buy dog food??

Everything getting darker...
Think I broke a rib...
Getting dark...
Can't breathe...

If I fed these to a girlfriend would she do the same thing...for me?

Ahhhh Bakes - that is great!!!

That was very cruel . Would be great to ad lib that but I have a feeling that there was some prior thought involved .

Prof 242

Tried it out yet? Yes or no? I carn't wait to hear.

But bloody funny Bakes...

Did you check her trolley for gokat bickies before you told the story?

LOL I should of been clearer. That was sent to me via email. I only wish I could come up with something like that.

Still pretty damn funny!

The closest think I've got to that was in Timor. I kept getting people ask me how the dogs were finding the heat. Finally I'd had enough when a young nurse asked me..."How do the dogs find the heat?" I looked at her and said "Oh usually all around them" She said sorry and that she asked for that

I prefer the Bonney diet to the MeatyBite diet.

Some years ago when I lived in Pomgolia a mate of mine was the local Huntsman.
He told me a story of a time when he was waiting in line at the local supermarket. A woman in front of him started haranguing him about beindg a cruel bashtard. He stood there waiting for her to run our of steam and then turned to the man who was standing beside her and said,
"If the mouth is yourds I'd tell her to shut up 'cause it's you I'll thump".
Nothing more was said.
And that is true, not as funny, but true.

Don't know if you guys have any rednecks down there but Bakes' story reminds me of the 2 rednecks on the porch whittling and watching the dog lick himself.

1st Redneck spits tobacco juice and says to his buddy, "Wish I could do that".

2d Redneck whittles awhile, takes another chaw of tobacco and tells his buddy, "That dog will bite you".