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Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat
Thursday, March 27, 2008

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342099,00.html

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life

Wow talk about a helluva punishment for a prank call! I think the fact this got out in public was punishment enough.

quote:

Wow talk about a helluva punishment for a prank call! I think the fact this got out in public was punishment enough.

Yeah no self respecting ewe will go near him now ...

Are we dealing with a male or female wombat?

Perhaps the wombats had had enough and went for some Kiwi payback.

This was over my back fence so to speak (perhaps I should rephrase that ) about 1/2 hour from where I live. As it was reported locally, he called the emergency service no., 111 in NZ, same as 911 in the USA or 999 in the UK (I think) which is a general no no. I can't comment on the sex of the wombat other than to say it would be a bl**dy lonely one hereabouts, maybe that tells its own story.
With apologies to our Aussie mates on this forum, I was always brought up to believe that you needed a frontal lobotomy to be able to speak Australian convincingly. I suspect they have a similar version of that the other way around too.
Steve.

An update:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/27/wwombat127.xml

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.

"I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all."

He's right about needing help...

The Australian lingo is actually pronounced A'Strain or simply Strain (in the backblocks)

quite fitting really....

Breaking News....

INNOCENT!

quote:

It was consensual!