Subject: Retrosexual

Real MEN - Retrosexuals!

Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "

The Code:

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff
(or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Ford truck.

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner

A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !

Hells tits Anne , this is way too long with too many big words for most AUSSIES to wade all the way through .

Could you do an abbreviated version for the likes of Bakes and Shaun , who are proud to have regressed to the caveman era.

The last paragraph is probably the most meaningfull of all though ...

Oh but Muzza, they use small words. And please forgive me for not including you Kiwis too!

"I'm a retrosexual and I hate poofters having street parties, I'm a retrosexual and I hate poofters having street parties, I'm a retrosexual and I hate poofters having street parties,"
I am found, I thought I had lost my way, but now I know where I fit in society,
Thanks Ann

Ann,
Nothing strange to me, you are just describing southamericans (with the exception of Buenos Aires men )

The women down here are always complaining we are too much "retro"...but who cares...
LG

But Lorenzo -

We are MEN , why do we care how women see us ? We are what we are , and should be appreciated for exactly that .

"course BAW has a psychological hangup about gays , but thats due to his secret desire to do the street parade with them - he just isnt brave enough to come out publicly...

I won a bet once that I would walk up Oxford Steet, Kings Cross at 10pm on a friday night.



Now, I saw more queers, faggots, he-bitches and sheila's with balls and young pitifull druggies than I care to ever see again; if fact the best thing was the group of hari-krista's chanting outside their own resturant.



Around the corner in Darlinghurst, I saw some very beautifull young women stoned shitless lying in the street, selling their slim bodies to buy more drugs.



I don't really care what people think of my actions, but if I catch anyone pushing fucken drugs on young kids, well, they might be damaged goods by the time they get to a police station. You see, so many problems stem from drugs, the poofter industry, prostitution, crime bosses, armed robbery and even murder. These activities are also the trigger that dickheads in parliment use to justify many of our so called tough gun laws. Unfortunately drugs, poofters and prostitution are more rife than ever, but we ain't got our guns!



While in Sydney, I came across a drunken rum-soaked abbo lying in the park in the pissing rain and saw 20+ people walk pass him; I picked the poor bastard up and carried him to shelter. The looks on peoples faces said it all. The problem in today's society is that we have lost any compashion for our fellow man!



Drunk as he was, this bloke said "thanks mate". That meant a lot to me.



Retrosexual - yep that's me!

WEll I dont know any pledges or how to sing star spangled banner ,I,m not sure about the windsor knot either ,but yep ,it pretty much sounds like me.

I replyed to this in the Misc forum and I'm to lazy to type it again so I cut and pasted it

I'm a Trysexual.....I'll try anything

My wife's best friend has a rather down trodden husband, who's a bit of a metrosexual, she won't let him do anything and she can't understand why the wife puts up with the things I do. For instance I'll say to the wife (in front of the friend, Karen) "I'm just going to Don's place for half an hour" 6 hours later I come home This drives Karen crazy. If I take the hen pecked husband fishing, my wife knows I won't be back till its dark. HIS wife gets antsy after a couple of hours. She Told Penny once that she couldn't stand being married to me as she couldn't control me

But I agree Ann, to many poofs on the telly! The only life style show I want to see is the one that tells me how to grow a vege plot and how to build stuff. I still open doors and give my seat to ladies and the elderly,why? because I was taught manners! Here's a story for you.......

Years ago when Elle McPhearson was filming "Sirens" in the Blue Mountains, Australia. The wife's cousin was having her wedding reception in the same resort that Elle and her boyfriend, Arky Busson (remember him?)were staying at. At the end of the night as we were leaving I opened the door for Penny and her mum. They went through and I looked up and Elle and Arky were comming through the other way, so I thought I'd keep the door open for them. Elle breezes through first and doesn't even say thankyou. That pisses me off so I yell out "YOUR FUCKEN WELCOME" after the snooty bitch . Good old Arky turns and gives me a thankyou but God bless him

Bless yore li'l HEART, Ann..... ....

You are MY kind of girl... Want to hunt MOOSE in New Brunswick together..?? After all, we both have TAGS....

I PROMISE to leave the toilet UP and never APOLIGIZE for doing so... ....

Ann

I drink to much, I smoke to much, I belch after a good feed and I fart in public places.

Does that mean I am Retrosexual?

Frank

In Sunny Queensland

"Retrosexual" is just another faggot "New Speak" term.

Lets try Ann's post again with the faggotness removed.



***



Subject: Real men



Real MEN!



Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, retro-sexual and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!



Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Real Man< !--color--> movement. "



The Code:



A Real Man< !--color-->, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. Unless she has hairy armpits, then she is on her own.



A Real Man< !--color--> opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female. But they don't get into his car, they can walk behind. If it is raining she should have thought ahead and brought a rain umbrella.



A Real Man< !--color--> DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. Most things can be fixed with two-by-four.



A Real Man< !--color--> not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.



A Real Man< !--color--> doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.



A Real Man< !--color--> does not use hair or skin products. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. A Real Man< !--color--> needs only a single shelf. His woman buys if for him too. Supermarkets are for women and girly-boys.



A Real Man< !--color--> does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. He doesn't even though what "Hot Topic" is, and if he does he is a faggot.



A Real Man< !--color--> should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.



A Real Man< !--color--> watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title. Or queers anywhere in the show or the cast. He keeps his .45 ACP handy if one of them infiltrates one of his favourite TV shows like "The Sopranos" (that one is close to the wuss level ), "Band of Brothers", hunting shows etc . A new TV is cheap in comparison.



A Real Man< !--color--> does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A two-by-four comes in handy for the faggot TV show producer and "artists". And neighbours. It can then be used in his workshop to build something out of wood. Also thereby getting rid of the evidence.



A Real Man< !--color--> should not give up ANY manliness for women. If a woman wants a froo-froo little puss, she ain't worth it.



A Real Man< !--color--> is allowed to seek professional help for handy-man tasks where he doesn't have big enough equipment like bulldozers.



If he seeks "professional help" like for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc, then he is a closet arse-bandit waiting to be let out.



You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. Daddy was too busy hunting and fishing to worry about sooky snotty nosed babies. That's what women are for. Father's only need to get involved with their SONS when they are old enough to learn to shoot - ie six.



A Real Man< !--color--> does not have outfits. "Outfits" are for donut makers. He has jeans, trousers, shorts, jackets. Some of them will be camoflaged.



A Real Man< !--color--> knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot. He also knows women like ties too, and not tied with a windsor knot.



A Real Man< !--color--> should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. He should have got it hunting or fishing and not from a paper cut, sewing scissors, or knitting needles.



A Real Man< !--color--> knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, then you are a faggot. No amount of practice is going to fix the problem. Learn to grimace when bending over.



A Real Man< !--color--> knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".



Crying. There are very few reasons that a Real Man< !--color--> may cry, and the death of his hunting dog is about the only reason acceptable reason. His dog is probably more faithful and loving than a wife. He then looks for something to kill so the carcases can laid with his mate on the Viking funeral bonfire.



When a Real Man< !--color--> is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Real Man< !--color--> stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A true Real Man< !--color--> doesn't just give the look, he says it in their face.





A Real Man< !--color--> knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. This is if he is American. Australian Real Men< !--color--> don't give a shit about national anthems.



A Real Man< !--color--> will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. If the wife or mother don't like it, they can take a jump.



A Real Man< !--color-->knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils. He tests the sharpness by shaving hairs off the back of his arm.



A Real Man< !--color--> can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.



A Real Man< !--color--> can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the Real Man's< !--color--> options are to say "Fuck It, it was only a Ford anyway".



A Real Man< !--color--> will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person too. (If a soldier can't stand up he must be one of those new age faggot soldiers. Unless he is wounded or disabled.)



A Real Man< !--color--> man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. If the other person deceived a new agreement can be made not with a handshake but with fists.



A Real Man< !--color--> doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT ! Scars are also useful as evidence you are a Real Man< !--color-->.





***



Aah, now that's better.







PS A Real Man< !--color--> is not a Kiwi and does not think he is a Real Man< !--color--> because he has one thousand wooly wives.

Round of applause for Nitro the sledge KING!!!!

Anne,

I am not an Aussie, I am an American.

But Dam it girl, God love ya for knowing that there are women who still exist, who respect what you said, every word of it.

It describes me to a T, yet most women look at me like I am politically incorrect for doing just those things, well minus smoking the cigar, I don't smoke, period. Never did anything for me.

I don't care about being politically incorrect. Just the other day, I helped an elderly lady load a bunch of large items she had into her Suburban. When I first asked her if she would like some help, she looked at me like I was selling something or had some ulterior motive.

"Why would you want to do that" were her exact words. My response was the my parents had raised me to be a gentleman and not only respect and lend a helping hand to women in need, but especially to senior citizens.

And I told her most importantly " We have a declining moral and social conscience in this country. We have people who are too busy to take a few moments to help another human being out. And I am personally not going to contribute to the downfall of courtesy in this country"

She had such a pleased and shocked smile on her face.
" this country needs more young men like you" she told me.
YOung men, heck I am 51 years old.!

I refuse to contribute to the decline of the USA and all it stood for and represented when I grew up. And it is a pleasure to know there are still women out there, who appreciate US politically incorrect RETROsexual men.

And if they exist in OZ, three Cheers for OZ!

Cheers and Good shooting
seafire

Yes Nitro, even better still!
seafire

Real men< !--color--> don't take advice on how to be a real man< !--color--> from a woman!!!!

Wallace,

Ever notice that the gentlemen that still hang onto morals and treat their fellow human beings with dignity and respect seem to be owners of firearms?

I agree with you on the drugs, and the decline it has taken on our society. However, politicians need to have a problem exist so they can justify their existance and more tax money so they can " solve it"/. So they set up society that what brings it down is allowed to exist.

Where you talk about taking the aboriginie to the shelter because he was shitfaced and out of it, I have done the same thing to a few American Indians. While other people just walked by and tried to ignore them. I even saw a few people once in a parking lot in Montana, roll one passed out Indian into a huge mud puddle just to laugh about it.

That is not the average person in Montana, but it still was a pretty piss poor thing to do to another fellow human being. I found a set of car keys in his pocket, and since their were only 5 cars in the parking lot, it was not hard to figure out which one was his.

I put him in his car, and drove him about a mile up the road, so no one would bother him, and pulled his car off the highway, and then walked back to the parking lot and got in my car and left on my way.

YOU are a good man Wallace!

Cheers and Good shooting
seafire

Nice thread! Agreed with Nitro about the term though
"he's like sooo retrosexual" (said whilst sipping an avocado protein shake and plucking eyebrows!)
Real Man, sounds much better. It doesn't mean that you have to be a bunch of muscles and no brain either. Too many people think that if you have values and like guns you are some kind of cowboy and should be like John Wayne (Not that there is anything wrong with the lad)

bakes

---

Yes, well we can't be perfect mate, but don't let it get you down ok, chin up little soldier.

---

being of British Ancestry I have always heard "the BEST WENT WEST"

tah tah
cherrio
till next time
old mate

"A Real< !--color--> Man is allowed to seek professional help for handy-man tasks where he doesn't have big enough equipment like bulldozers."

Uh, hate ta ruin it for ya, but a Real< !--color--> man doesn't seek professional advice for anything but medical reasons, and ya better be squirtin' blood at that! BTW, you can rent bulldozers

Ann

Now you have tossed the glove I guess someone soon will list all the desired features of the perfect woman


Cheers
/ JOHAN

Geez, Ann! You need to come out to Alberta, where's that's not so much a Code as a Religion.

All the Aussies I've worked with do alright too, except they can't hold their beer.

Aussies are in the same situation as the UK and

Canada when it comes to political correctedness

and the funny thing is Americans,

who we always thought of as crazy over emotional

clap happy guys(but nice guys despite)now look damn

right sensible alongside us.



I remember growing up and every Aussie KNEW

the yanks were "a bunch of over acting fanciful people"

- on tv, real life- everything.



When did we change spots with them?



One area we maintain though is our famed ability to laugh in the face of danger and adversity.

In fact most Aussies despite thier bluff exterior seem to be clinging to this like a lifeline.



For example-





He will laugh and joke when crime overtakes

his city suburbs.



He will laugh and joke when he loses the right to

play his stereo loud in his car, rev his engine or

take off fast at the lights(new Laws in QLD).



He laughs and jokes when safety inspectors come

to his house and enter his yard to check to make

sure it is safe for his own children.



He laughs and jokes when they board his boat to

make sure it is safe for his own fishing purposes.



He laughs and jokes when they ban swimming holes

and rivers which are no longer safe for him to swim in.



He laughs and jokes when a black person or

pregnant lady or homosexual gets special

attention regarding employment or education.



He laughs and jokes when his kids can;t afford

to tackle the new full fee paying degrees

(like medicine etc-and more to follow...) which used to be free.



And keeps laughing when some kid from HongKong

with a lot of money buys his way into the

same spot his kid would have had.



He will laugh and joke when he loses his guns.



Every time he looks on the news he has something n

ew to laugh and joke about.



And about the best he can do is make

another joke about it.





Karl.

Karl;

I'll tell you what went wrong in the USA,

Hippies, dam Mother fu*&%king hippies.

Let's worry about this person's rights and that person's rights.

He has a right to be gay, she has a right to burn her bra, he has a right to collect welfare,

we need to compensate the black man for being so down trodded for all of these years,

Gay couples should be allowed to be married, and even adopt children.

We shun Christian religion yet are suppose to encourage Islam, Buddism, and anything else.

We can't say ONE nation under God as we might now offend some immigrant Arab, who does not worship "God" but Allah, or some Hippie who has converted to Islam or Buddism to "enlighten himself".

If it is insane and lacks any sanity then it is "politically correct". If it is conservative and has sanity to it, then it is "politically incorrect".

I hear every minority on the planet in this country complain about what they don't have and what they deserve to be given,

The group that has less rights in this country are middle class white christian male causcasians. Everything wrong with the world is our fault, due to divorce laws and under the guise of "lets save the children" white male fathers have less rights than any black slave ever had the day they are divorced.

Everything is our fault and yet we are suppose to pay to fix it for someone else's convenience.

All of these hippies have grown up and are now in the Government, like Bill Clinton or Hillary Clinton. The Constittution is a minor inconvenience if they pay attention to it at all. They pass laws, that are aimed at others, who they make pay for it, while taking away their rights, so they can sit around at cocktail parties and brag what they are doing to better the world.

The second amendment to our constitution gives all Americans the rights to bare arms. Yet all of these Hippy, self professed liberals say that the Constitution is out dated and out moded. Yet the same people abuse the 1st Amendment to the Constitution which is freedom of speech.
They constantly are saying their wacko ideas are exercising their freedom of speech.

We have politicians and People like Rosie O'Donnel, who are anti gun and then they personally own firearms ( to protect themselves, they say) When asked why do they need firearms to protect themselves, when they don't think the average citizen should, their answers have been "we are important so we need to be able to protect ourselves, but the average citizen isn't as important so they don't need to have a firearm for that reason" They are so blatantly hypocritical, they actually believe this stuff so much they don't listen to the insanity they are actually saying.

I love my country, but that has nothing to do with supporting or defending the insanity of our politicians and leaders.

They forget they are suppose to serve the public,. not the public are suppose to serve them!!!!

If you are a divorced father in the USA, the government has passed so many laws, that if you complied with them all, they can actually demand that you have to give them $1.10 cents for every one dollar you make! So after 40 to 50 hours of work a week, you owe the government your entire paycheck PLUS another 10 cents on every dollar that you earned. Point this out to a politician and they will tell you they can do nothing about it, because these laws are popular and they are what the public wants.

Why is our world so insane anymore? No wonder the Islamic world laughs at the western powers so much and are looking to expand the world of Allah as they see the weaknesses in their enemy, the Western World. It is their opportunity and they are taking it.

Islam will not destroy western civilization, the western world's desire to be "liberal" is what is going to destroy itself.

Let our men be gay, and make it okay. Let our women be lesbians and make it okay, let our citizens figure out it is easier to not work and live on increasing welfare benefits,
Constantly spending a million dollars on a solution for a 50 cent problem. Thinking MORE TAXES is going to solve anything, and never look at governmental spending excesses.

If governments spent half as much money feeding and clothing and helping our fellow man, instead of spending so much on products to kill our fellow man, then the world would not be so screwed up. Common sense is a luxury in today's world.!

What you wrote is unfortunatly an accurate description of Norway too. Or actually, all western countrys...
The problem being that the sheeple will only come to realize it when it's too late, as they always do, although they seldom ever realize such things at all. By that time, they will as usual blame others.
Erik D.

Seafire,

That is one truly inspired rant. Accurate as well.