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posted 28 August 2004 23:37
An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless started up conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, "Do you Australian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants, and sell them to Australia." The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence! The American
persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, s eeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."

The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?" The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" "We throw them away of course." replied the American. Now it was the Australian's turn to smile.
"We don't in Australia! We put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States .....that's why its called Wrigley's."

............................................................

One for Ann..

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls" I told my
husband that I would be home by midnight...."I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way to easy. Around
3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was
really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution
especially since I was smashed, in order to avoid a conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12
o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three
times, then said, "Oh crap!",cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
 
Posts: 8106 | Location: Bloody Queensland where every thing is 20 years behind the rest of Australia! | Registered: 25 January 2001Reply With Quote
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