I dont know if these are truly Australian - any nationality will do - but this is mildly funny , I thought ...

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the
most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:


4th Place.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start
behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, '
If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing
Daddy's willie last night.'

After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing
I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter."


3rd Place.
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we
got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents,
aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there.
My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and
embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
in my family has planned any surprise parties.


2nd Place.
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no
price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
supersize". But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and
replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
public
address system:"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or
the kind one you belt in with a hammer?"


1st Place. And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as
in sugar?"The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding
some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and
as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up
her books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and
never returned.However, as she was heading for the door, the
professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her
question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on
the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."