Scientific theory: the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost
> airline
> baggage.
>
> An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was
> safe.
>
> Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society.
> The optimist invented the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
>
> Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot
> pregnant.
>
> If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic
> helicopter
> fly-ins?
>
> Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers &
> helicopters -- in that order -- need two.'
>
> There are only three things a copilot should ever say:
> 1. Nice landing, Sir.
> 2. I'll buy the first round.
> 3. I'll take the ugly one!
>
> There are only three things a wingman should ever say:
> 1. Two is up.
> 2. Lead you are on fire.
> 3. I'll take the fat chick.
>
> As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will
> happen:
> a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last
> flight.
> b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your
> last flight.
>
> There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think
> that
> they know how to fly your airplane better than you. Laws (of Physics) are
> made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules
> but
> you can never suspend the Laws.
>
> About Rules:
> a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and
> the talent to execute it.
> b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance. (e.g.,
> If
> you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge).
>
> The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
>
> To become a jet pilot, one must be an egomaniac with low self esteem.
>
> The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
>
> Ever notice that the experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over
> are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity
> of
> their feelings that the pilot's day is over, I know of no expert who has
> volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
>
> Before flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks
> are
> full!
>
> He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he
> that
> demands one iota more is a fool.
>
> There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night, over
> water or rugged terrain.
>
> The aircraft limits are only there in case there is to be a future flight
> by
> that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely,
> there
> are no limits.
>
> Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not
> for those who still are.
>
> Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.
>
> Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. An airplane
> flies because of money. If God had meant man to fly, He'd have given him
> more money.
>
> Hopefully a pilot never runs out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at
> the
> same time!!!
>
> "If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire
> Orville
> to reduce costs."
> (from a past President of DELTA Airlines.)
>
> In the Alaska bush I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of
> gas
> than vice versa.
>
> It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. It's just that
> good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes. Or so seasoned
> observers contend.
>
> I've flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is
> always occupied by an idiot?
>
> Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and
> becoming
> a pilot. You can't do both.
>
> You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't
> crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by
> the food.
>
> FAA Motto: We're not happy, till you're not happy.
>
> Never fly the "A" model of anything!
>
> Never fly anything with the paint still on the rudder pedals!
>
> And a few attributed to LCDR Ken Snyder, USN, back in the '50's:
>
> Never jump out of an airplane unless it's burning.
>
> Always strive to have the same number of takeoffs and landings.
>
> The 3 things of no use to any Aviator:
> -the altitude above you,
> -the runway behind you,
> -the fuel in the truck back at the airport.
>
>

Thou shalt properly maintain thine airspeed

Lest the ground rise up and smite thee

Definition--Helicopter

50,000 parts flying in close formation

Awaiting Any and All chances to leave formation

Hey I learned some new ones!

Thanks for posting XG!

What is that "they" say . . .

This is the stick.
If you pull it back the earth will get smaller and smaller,
IF you hold it back, then at some point that will cause the earth to get bigger and BIGGER.

The Runway behind you, The Altitude above you and the fuel you left on the ground, dose you not one bit of good!

This one can keep you alive, I has for me.

quote:

b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your
> last flight.

That happened to me. Glad it was a good one, but the FO screwed up the reversers on landing and I had to take it.

Oh, well, he's out there doing runs along the Tracks. Hope he doesn't get lost. He doesn't have me to cover for him anymore.

Maintain thy airspeed lest the earth arise and smite thee

Try not to run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at the same time

Like the line about bells and angels getting their wings from the movie "It's a wonderful life"...

Everytime someone says "Helicopters can't really fly"
somewhere on earth one all TOO explicably falls from the sky in immediate obedience to the statement.....

Oh shit I hope it didn't land on anyone....

I would only willingly board helicopter if loaded on board by a rescue swimmer and a winch.... otherwise I'd rather walk or swim.


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