Watched the "Fly Boys" last week and discussed it with a friend over lunch. He forwarded these to me and I thought I would share. Some are old, some new but you should be able to find a laugh or two. Enjoy!

Subject: Aviation

1] No matter what else happens, fly the airplane. Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an airplane flies because of money.
2] It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.
3] If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn' em back off.
4] A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.
5] Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky!
6] Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
7] Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to Five minutes earlier.
8] "Unskilled" pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
9] If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger; if you pull
the stick back, they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back-then they get bigger again.) Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.
10] The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
11] Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!
12] Everyone already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great' landing. It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
13] The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
14] IFR: I Follow Roads.
15] You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.
16] Those who hoot with the owls by night should not fly with the eagles by day.
17] A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random in motion.
18] Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
19] Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.
20] Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
21] If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
22] Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
23] A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a corpse.
24] Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a tree what it thinks about dogs.
25] Trust your captain but keep your seat belt securely fastened.
26] An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
27] Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.
28] The friendliest flight attendants are those on the trip home.
29] Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.
30] Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.
31] Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
32] The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
33] There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
34] It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
35] Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.
36] The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
37] It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
38] If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the FAA would find a way to blame it on pilot error.
39] Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
40] A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.
41] It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
42] A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
43] A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
44] The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
45] Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
46] Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.
47] You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
48] The difference between a fighter pilot & a pig? A pig doesn't sit at a bar until 0300 waiting to pick up a fighter pilot.

I bought the Flyboys DVD. Not a bad movie - I enjoyed it.