Well this is the week running upto our first day on the Pheasants this saturday. As always I'm a little nervous for all the usual reasons, but also because we have a number of new guns in the line this year. Dealing with unknown entities is always a bit daunting. I'm sure it will be fine but that doesn't stop you worrying.

Anyway Dig from Vintage Guns wrote this, so I thought that I would share. For those of you that run a shoot, then you will know how just how accurate it is!!!



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The Shoot Captain’s Lament

Someone has to keep an eye
When fourteen Guns afield do vie
For wily game, with gun and shot
But not much cash to fill the pot.



Just sixty birds expect to shoot,
But still great sport for little loot.
We walk and stand, that is our day
If you want driven, pay your way



To your peg the birds may flock
But if down more than five you knock
It’s you who will then look absurd
When billed for £20 per bird!


When walking Gun your duty be
To beat the wood primarily
When game flush straight towards the line
Of standing Guns, ‘tis theirs not thine!
So yell them on for others’ fun
Don’t shoot the poor things up the bum!


Bad discipline we don’t forgive;
Guns shooting spaniels seldom live
To tell the tale, so be warned fair…
Keep your muzzles in the air!


Swans may fly and muntjac run
So know your quarry before your gun
To your shoulder you do throw
Or before lunchtime, home you’ll go!


DEFRA spies do now abound
If shooting ducks with lead you’re found
Instead of bismuth, tin or steel
The toe of Kiri’s boot you’ll feel.


Some day’s you’ll be in the best spot
On every drive or walk, but not
On every day, so for your sins
Accept your lot and do not whinge!


If a sportsman true you are,
Don’t shoot then get into your car
And go off home without some words
A shoot day’s not just killing birds


We socialise and have some fun
And tell the stories of the gun
But please don’t brag, good Sports are meeker…And don’t forget to tip the ‘keeper!

The Nobel Prize for Literature is safe enough for another year.

thanks FB

i havent heard that one before, and yes it is right on the money with a wink and a smile.

peter