Sir Winston Churchill and Lady Astor never got along. They once got into a spat at a cocktail party, after both had had a drink or three.

Lady Astor,"Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea."

Sir Winston, "Lady Astor, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"

I’ve always liked this one:

“I’d like to see things from your perspective, but I don’t want to stick my head up your ass.”

Someone sent Churchill a three page letter asking if he was going to attend a meeting.

His reply?

Sir,
I am.
Winston

George Bernard Shaw sent Churchill a telegram, "Am reserving 2 tickets for you on opening night of my new play. Come, bring a friend- if you have one." Churchill composed a return telegram, "Impossible for me to attend first performance. Would like to attend second night-if there is one."

My parents' last birthday gift to me was a book entitled, " CHURCHILL Wit and Wisdom. It is quite entertaining and I've enjoyed it immensely.