Well the people showed up to pick up the buffalo calf (6mo old at this point) at about 10:00am. We backed the trailer up to the gate and opened the door so that we could make as hasty and exit as possible. The original plan was to shoot momma and then rope the baby and load it up in the trailer and get the heck out of dodge...but the butcher informed us that he could not take a buffalo on Monday. So plan B... we have to mark the momma so we can tell which one she is so we don’t slaughter one of the females that hasn’t calved yet. We didn’t have a paint ball gun, and sneaking up to her and shaving a big X into her coat with clippers was ruled out pretty quick....I should mention at this point that we don’t have any pens or chutes, just two 5 acre pastures separated by a fence...you know, the normal things people have to make getting your stock out of the pasture easy!! So we decided that we would chase the momma down on the 4 wheeler and throw a half sealed baggie of paint at her and hope it burst open. Shady Meadows is about 6’3” 265lbs of farm boy, and I am 6’1” 215lbs and we are both going to be riding on a Kawasaki Brute Force 650 4wheeler...this could be like Ace and Garry the ambiguously gay duo, but they never chased momma buffalo down in the mud! So we get on with our baggie of paint and proceed on part 1 of operation “Strategic Tatonka Undertaking by Persons Insane and Dumb ” which from here on will be known as operation STUPID. So we blast across the muddy pasture into the trees and start chasing the buffalo..nobody told me they could run 45mph through the trees... so now I am on the back of the 4wheeler going 45mph through the trees trying to not get paint on myself or the 4wheeler while not crapping my pants. We get nearish to the momma and she starts to peel off to the right and I fire baggie number 1. Amazingly as I watch the paint bomb arc through the air I realize I am going to miss by about 10ft to the right, but wait...the momma makes a 90degree turn at the last second and takes the baggie of paint dead center on the side. It explodes perfectly and she gets covered... I meant to do that..really!! Phase 1 of operation STUPID is complete!

We have learned during phase one of operation STUPID that this 6mo old calf can run with the big buff and is going to be much harder to catch than originally thought. Phase 2 of STUPID originally called for me to be riding on the front of the 4wheeler with the lasso and placing said lasso on said calf with relative ease. I like Shady Meadows, but I am not riding on the front of the 4wheeler at those speeds with both hands occupied by a lasso. We have also encountered another problem. There is now a 2 day old calf in the pasture and the momma’s have all circled up around the 2 calves and are snorting their displeasure at us. We can’t run the little baby much so we have to separate the buff into 2 groups. The new phase 2 of STUPID calls for Shady Meadows to gently heard the buff to the gate between the 2 pastures while I stand on the ground by the gate to close it after little baby goes through and hopefully the 6mo old and his momma are still on the other side. Normally I wouldn’t like this much because these buff are more temperamental and dangerous than cows, but at this point they are in protection mode of the babies and have been stirred up by our antics with the paint. But what the heck, this is operation STUPID so I agree to give it a try. As the buffalo come my way the desire to be in Tahiti keeps getting stronger and stronger. I finally decide to climb the 6ft fence and stand on top of one of the telephone poles that hold’s up one side of the gate corner when the mommas spot me and begin to snort and toss their heads while heading more in my direction. Now I can’t help but feel like I could be the main character in a Far Side cartoon where I am a piñata on top of a post and the buffalo are talking amongst themselves deciding who gets to take the 1st whack at the post to knock me off. However, as Shady Meadows comes closer on the 4wheeler they all run through the gate in one bunch and he asks why I am on top of the fence instead of shutting the gate. I offer to switch places with him but he graciously declines and heads off to try it again. We catch a break on this one as the little baby decides it wants to lay down in the trees with its momma, and the rest of the heard moves off and through the gate. When they get about 20 yards away (my memory is kind of fuzzy they may have been more like 200yards away) I climb down off the fence and shut the gate. Great! Now on to phase 3 of STUPID ... Catch the baby!!

Now, I have decided that at this point I am really comfortable on top of the fence and out of the reach of hoof and horn so I am thinking I will take my lasso and stay there. Shady Meadows is going to try and coax the buffalo by me at which point I am to rope the baby. Sounds easy enough, but hitting a baby buffalo with a rope while it is running 30mph and you are standing on top of a telephone pole 7ft in the air is not easy as it seems... remember it is operation STUPID... I miss cold and almost rope one of the big mommas on my fist 5 tries... that would have been fun trying to get that rope back... We then catch a break and Shady Meadows manages to separate the calf and run it by me solo. The throw looks perfect as it leaves my hand and my heart drops as I see the rope bounce off its head...had it been a steer I would have been spot on... but I am surprised to see the loop slide down its back, off its flank, and loop around under the back legs one of which it catches on. In fact I am so surprised that I forget to let go of the tag end of the lasso. As you can imagine when the rope gets pulled tight by the 250lb buffalo at 30mph the result is me flying off the top of my 7ft tall, dinner plate sized perch with alarming rate. I land flat on my face and forget where I am and start sprinting across the filed chasing the rope and buffalo calf on the other end. Then it hits me and the voice in my head says “Hey Moron! Quick reminder here...you are running through a field of angry mother buffalo chasing one of the calves!” and I can hear Mr.Clean’s voice in my head repeating over and over “Meat and Dirt Rug, Meat and Dirt Rug, Meat and Dirt Rug” which is what he kept saying when I told him of my plan originally. It is also at this point that my legs get caught in my tie rope originally intended for the calves legs, not mine! I hit the mud and slide quite a ways since I was running faster than I think I have ever gone before. It is at this point that the angry mother buffalo bust out of the trees 10 yards to my left and cross directly in front of me. Had I not tripped and fallen my fate would have probably been that of Peetie the Flat Llama. I am an excellent STUPID operator and a darn lucky SOB. I check my pants and decide that yes, that really is just mud on them and am quickly picked up by Shady Meadow on the 4wheeler. We race after the buffalo with the leg rope and finally catch up to the speeding baby. Moron (that’s me if you haven’t figured this out by now) jumps off the 4wheeler onto the rope and proceeds to get drug a good 20 feet while trusting that Shady Meadows has me covered with the 4wheeler and 12ga with slugs. I am exhausted by the time I reach the baby and have a heck of a time bull doggin it to the ground. I have lost my tie rope and am having a very difficult time trying to tie the things legs with the inflexible lasso rope. This difficult action is compounded by my fears of being gored to death by the angry mothers and my advanced state of exhaustion from wrestling with the baby. Finally I get the job done and Shady Meadows swoops over, we throw the baby on the back of the 4wheeler with me on top and we head to the trailer. I got kicked, horned, head butted and sneezed on by the baby just to add insult to my mounting injuries on the way but we deliver him. The mommas had conceded defeat, and let us go to the trailer unmolested. The people there to pick up the baby look at us like the STUPID’s we are and shake their heads. I look at Shady Meadow’s wife and say “please tell me you got that on film” she shakes her head and says she was so mesmerized my the whole ordeal that she never even raised the camera. She is extremely sorry, and I am too tired to be mad. Operation STUPID Complete!!!!

So there it is. I swear on my life and my good name that it is true and want to add one notation to the people that are considering taking hunts with me ***This is not what you should expect to see me do on one of my hunts...or ever again for that matter!!****

Well, you gotta do it again for the camera

I too have done the Buffalo Dance and I feel your pain. People don't understand how different from cattle they are until they've experienced the misery for themselves. I think they are more like deer and from my experience, I think you are lucky they didn't all jump or run through a fence and wind up on the highway. I know from experience to have a rifle at the ready when we get a new load of buffalo dropped off. Best of luck.

Dun't know what ever happened to them, but I did see a video of me, up inside a rather small hay rack, slapping an 1800 pound bull buffalo in the face with my hat trying to get him to go on about his business and get in the trailer we were trying to load him into.

I worked with buffalo at the Fort Worth from 1988 to 2006, and during that time, I was reminded at least once daily, that those suckers can go from laying flat out on the ground asleep to 30 mph. in one heart beat.

I hand reared an 8 hour old calf in 1991, and he was still alive when I retired in June 2006, and I watched that sucker hook at more folks trying to reach thru the fence to pet him than I care to think about.

In my opinion, not only are buffalo smarter than cattle, they are also calculating SOB's, and will come unwound on you when you least expect it.

Great Story AB, and after having been around buffalo as long as I was, and knowing the cowboy attitude of most of us Texas Boys, I don't doubt one word of the tale.

I know it was for entertainment purposes, and I also believe every word, but it does raise a question for me. I have heard that the way a buffalo's neck is made, that if you rope one, you'll crush the windpipe and kill them. Is this true in ya'lls experience? I have never roped one around the neck, but in any instance that it has come down to having to rope one, I really didn't care if it would have died. I'm not so sure about the smarter part either. We use them for cutting horses extensively, and in my limited experience they will take to a pattern right away, so you'd better make their first experience (getting them through a gate, in a pen, working with a horse, whatever) a good one, or your wreck will be replicated for a long time. I've also found that fences don't mean much to them, and it takes very little pressure to cause one to go to extremes. However, you can always drive them anywhere they want to go.

I also have heard the business about crushing their windpipe with a rope, so never tried ir.

Also figgered that about the only safe way to get a rope off on was to shoot the critter and then get the rope after it quit moving.

From what I have seen first hand, there are few fences a buffalo can't go over or thru if they decide to.

And you are 100% correct, you can drive the things anywhere they want to go.

Daniel, I noticed you mentioned about using buffalo for training and working cutting horses, I have always been of the opinion that somewhere about 6 months old or so, the buffalo figger out that they really don't have to run from you or the horse, and start seriously making an effort to take both horse and rider out.

Is that the reason 8 to 12 month old buffal end up in local sale barns fairly regularly at cheap prices?

I talked to two different ranchers during the time I worked with buffalo, 1 was from New Mexico and the other was from Colorado, and both claimed to have had a horse kulled out from under them while working buffalos in a pasture.

Alex, I think that the next time you are involved im a buffalo sale, that you sell one freshly KILLED. Just add a heavey rifle and a winch to your tool list.

Those critters are not worth the doctor bills they can create.

Keith

Great story thanks!

I have had a few operation STUPIDS myself, I sure am glad to know it ain't only me.

I am glad you guys enjoyed it!! You should have been there to watch the STUPID circus!

Crazyhorse is right..we band of Texan's will do just about anything and on occasion forget to think thing through like we should!

quote:

Originally posted by Crazyhorseconsulting:
Daniel, I noticed you mentioned about using buffalo for training and working cutting horses, I have always been of the opinion that somewhere about 6 months old or so, the buffalo figger out that they really don't have to run from you or the horse, and start seriously making an effort to take both horse and rider out.

Is that the reason 8 to 12 month old buffal end up in local sale barns fairly regularly at cheap prices?

I talked to two different ranchers during the time I worked with buffalo, 1 was from New Mexico and the other was from Colorado, and both claimed to have had a horse kulled out from under them while working buffalos in a pasture.

Actually, if properly handled buffalo will last a year or more for training. Like I said in the other post, it is all about the habits that you let them form on that first day. It is best to get a turnback horse, a ranch gelding, or some well broke horse that isn't a cutter in training, as you will have to initially do things that aren't good for a trained cutter. Basically you need a couple of experienced hands to help and you work the buffalo, making her go both directions until she faces up, and then you quit. Same routine for a week or so, and they will last a long time. They usually start out very fast, and gradually get slower so that a greener horse can work them. The biggest problem I've had with them, beside going through fences, is worms killing them. I've lost ten or so to worms over the years. You absolutely must give them a feed through wormer every month. I also like to keep them in a very strong pen for a while, until they are somewhat broke, and then I let them on pasture.
I'm no expert by any means, but they can be helpful on controlling cattle costs in a training operation. I will admit to having the odd one charge from time to time. That is when I break out the turnback horse again and we do the Buffalo Joust with a hot shot. She'll stay back off of you after a few jolts. We generally get yearling heifers and trade them back after a year, so we aren't working full grown buffalo.

I highly recommend the Buffalo Joust if you have the means. STUPID circus deluxe.

thanks for the story again Alex, I could see it play out in my head. Without these type of decisions, how would we have any stories?

quote:

Originally posted by daniel77:
That is when I break out the turnback horse again and we do the Buffalo Joust with a hot shot. She'll stay back off of you after a few jolts.

I highly recommend the Buffalo Joust if you have the means. STUPID circus deluxe.

thanks for the story again Alex, I could see it play out in my head. Without these type of decisions, how would we have any stories?

Buffalo Joust!! I am awefully glad you didn't put that into my head before we had the STUPID party!! 4wheelers aren't nearly as mobile as a good horse...but I might have tried it anyways! That is something I would like to see!!

Thanks for the story and the pictures in my head. Way too funny!

Be sure to keep us updated on any new adventures of Shady and the Moron.

quote:

Crazyhorse is right..we band of Texan's will do just about anything and on occasion forget to think thing through like we should!

Famous last words of a true Texan " Hey Ya'll hold my beer and watch this"!!!!

that's a coonass joke. the "ya'll hold my beer" tagline is copyrighted by Cajuns. Just like you Texans own the "steers and queers" line.