Gentlemen...Every so often a truly ground breaking development comes along that's so unique that firearm design will never be quite the same again.We,the designers are ecstatic with pride and justifiably so I think.Soon you'll no doubt be reading about this in Guns & Ammo,Shooting Times and Handgunner magazines.We,however,wanted you to be the first to know,the very first to witness the unveiling of "THE 600 NITRO EXPRESS PEPPERBOX DERRINGER".Perhaps a bit of background,at this point,would not be amiss.We would like to be able to take full credit but in all honesty,the birth of the concept originates with the guy at the local bicycle repair shop when he fastened 4 pipes together that I believe were salvaged bicycle parts.Since a neighbor loaned us his hacksaw,we were then able to shorten the barrels appropriately.The design was certainly not perfected overnight and we slaved nearly round the clock before we were truly satisfied.But now it's ready for it's unveiling.Due to the many helpful suggestions of well wishers,we did away with the lag nuts and bolts that were holding the peice together.The complaints were that they were tearing pockets and snagging on clothing and otherwise hampering a smooth draw.This design flaw was readily corrected by removing the bolts and substituting krazy glue which,so far seems to be holding.It took a bit of tinkering to get the mechanism to actually work but now after much painstaking effort,it will usually work as long as one remembers to hold the hammer back with the thumb to be released by the same thumb at the time of desired discharge.Durability became an issue much discussed and so it was finally decided on to replace the rubber band mainspring with an actual metal one.Many nay sayers would probably decry our selection of the 600 nitro express chambering but let them scoff.What do they know?No one has actually fired it yet but the bike repairman assures us that since the parts are made by schwinn it may just hold together and that's good enough for me.This man can change a bike tire in 5 minutes.He knows his stuff.We've contacted Jeff Cooper in order to get his endorsment but haven't heard anything yet.We'll keep you posted.We did wonder how the 600 snubby would rate on the Colonel's relative stopping power index.Since he hasn't talked to us yet we'll keep you posted about that too.What niche does this fill?you may ask.We fully expect for orders numbering in the tens of thousands within a matter of days.You'll have to ask the people ordering them because we're not sure either.We will paint some of them pink to appeal to the female gun carriers among our customers as well as many of our male gun carrying customers from San Francisco.We will also market our own protective carrying cases made of burlap.We have made them all the more attractive by dying them.We found that the inscriptions"POTATOES-5 POUNDS" did somewhat diminish pride of ownership.By now,you're probably kicking yourself for not having thought of this yourself but you can console yourself with the realisation that you"YES YOU"can be one of the very first recipients of this truly landmark design.Avoid the rush by ordering now and remember"DON'T FALL FOR CHEAP IMATATIONS"Ours is the original and the one which all others will be compared with.And if you'll order within the next five minutes,we'll include the carrying case free.Send $695.00 to RAY'S POCKET BIG BOOMERS cash only please....Incidentally,there has been some question concerning the legality regarding the lack of serial numbers.Don't worry.I'll scratch some numbers on each one before mailing them out.Order today and I'm thanking each of you in advance for your patronage.
Dear Don.....In our never ending quest to improve our product,we are attempting to achieve excellence never before dreamed of in a pocket elephant gun.In an effort to make this monumental achievement even more of a masterpiece,we are redoing the lockwork to make it completely rust proof.In fact,I can personally guarantee that it will never rust.How can I be so sure?Let me put it this way.Have you ever heard of plastic rusting?You inquired about chrome plating and the possible scoping of this fine weopon.Yes,we've certainly considered all that and let me just give you my personal assurance that we're working on this.We'll keep you posted as our research and development continues.In the meantime,may we suggest white paint and duct tape as a possible option to drilling and tapping.It would be a shame to deface this instrument with any additional screw holes....As a side note,we observe that we're receiving a great deal of criticism for not having test fired this piece yet.We are still looking for a volunteer.Perhaps we would have more luck if we narrowed our search down to only those who are extremely intoxicated.Something to consider.Make sure when you order that you let us know what barrel length you prefer on your derringer as we can certainly make adjustments and hacksaw at any location.
I'd like to order a custom version with the case necked down at a 17degree angle to .177 Atomic Rocket Magnum (Imp) I will make sure that the bullet of choice is depleted uranium as the near lightspeed velocity will likely melt another material. Sarge
Posts: 2690 | Location: Lakewood, CA. USA | Registered: 07 January 2001
$695 sounds like a fair price, IF it's already regulated. Don't tell me you include hose clamps and a three-page instruction sheet and expect the buyer to do it himself! BTW, I would stick to intrastate sales or parts kits, since it sounds like a "destructive device" to me. Would you consider one in .600/.416 NE?
Posts: 2272 | Location: PDR of Massachusetts | Registered: 23 January 2001
Dear Gentlemen...Thank you for your inquiries regarding what we've come to refer to as our"pocket big boomer"hereinafter referable to as the"PBB"....responding to your concerns in the order received....OLDSARGE...I fully understand your interest in the 177 atomic rocket magnum as it's one of my favorites too but after confering with our research team,the general consensus seems to be that the 600 nitro express will be more in keeping with the general utility of our derringer.Therefore,we may need to postpone custom chamberings for the time being but we will certainly keep it in mind....BOLTMAN....This is certainly something to consider but we're having difficulty in figuring out how to mount a scout scope on our pepperbox derringer but we will keep trying.As for the ugly aspect,we can't even begin to imagine how it could be made more ugly than it is already.Nonetheless,our feelings are beginning to be hurt as the colonel still hasn't returned any of our calls.Wonder if Ross Seyfreid would be interested.
Dear RECONO...Yes,we think that $695.00 is a fair asking price too.You'll be glad to know that our pocket big boomer comes fully assembled and ready to go.We take pride in providing nothing but the best for our customers.
That has got to be one of the funniest damn things that I have ever read. Anyways let me know when you finish the the 4 bore version, I just don't know that I would feel safe carrying around something in such a puny caliber. HA HA HA!!!!! Also maybe you could skeletonize some parts of it to lighten it up a bit. Oh and one last thing, before you send it out I would like the custom option of multiple discharge, you know all 4 barrells at once. I would be willing to pay extra of course!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------ JR
Posts: 1258 | Location: Colusa CA U.S.A. | Registered: 27 June 2001
DEAR JR....By remarkable coincidence,it was discovered earlier today that occasionaly all 4 striking assemblies are released at once.This means that you may,in fact,have your multiple discharge feature without having to pay extra.This will be good news to many,I'm sure.One of our advisors indicated that he had some reservations concerning the recoil factor in such an event but this should be of small concern to a man who is used to a bit of recoil.However,the beginning pepperbox user may be somewhat distressed by the experience and so,perhaps it may be better to offer this feature as an option.
Do you export? This sounds perfect for feral cats, but it would have to be moderated (silenced) for use in my back yard. I assume you supply silencers also. Do they screw on, or are they the sexy slip-on numbers James Bond uses?
