Hello, I've choosen and anonymous handle today to ask a question. If this is inappropriate, let me know, sorry in advance.
My wife has cancer and she wants to participate in the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. Today, I went into a local gunshop/ coffe bar/ hangout and shoot the breeze place. I had with me a donation form and envelope with a picture of my wife before and now with no hair on the envelope. I said what I was there for and asked if anyone would be interested in makeing a donation. Some guys turned their backs, others gave me questionable or dirty looks. I said sorry and left.
I thought I might have found a room with some understanding individuals.

I'm not looking for donations here.
If you would care to, how would you have responded to someone asking a similar question?

handle: anon
password: anon
for anonymous responces.

sorry if this is the completly wrong place for this.

Unfortunately there are so many scams that good causes end up getting neglected. It's hard for ordinary people to tell them apart.

If you were local chances are we would know one another and I would help out if I could. Keep in mind I live in the sticks. However, in the city, I am afraid I would fall to the same issues that 500grains pointed out. I wouldn't be rude about it though unless you were.

Kent

Anon my prayes are with you and you wife frist of all.

Like the others have said its hard to tell when its real and not.

Just to give you an idea I saw a man on the corner had never seen him in the area before and he told me that he had lost his job and was trying to get just a little money for food for his family. So I gave him $20.00. Two weeks later I'm in a different part of town and he gives me the same story. This time I didn't give in.

I was raised to believe that we are to help one another, and I still want to believe everyone is not out to rip us off.

You tell your wife she wasn't wrong in her suggestion!!!!!

If it was anyones else spouse they would have done the same thing.

My wife has diabetes and it took me a year before I came to accept it. My 14 y.o. daughter help out by collecting donations for breast cancer awareness (stupid me asked her if she didn't have something better to do on a saturday morning), she informed me that this was VERY IMPORTANT. Because one day she could have it and would want someone to try to help find a cure.

Not if anyone has a PROBLEM with that you just have to deal with it!

To the moderators if you find that my statements are unjustified then you can delete this post, but before you do think about how you would feel if it was your spouse that was asking you to help sponsor a cause.

What a coincidence,I'll be walking in the Relay for Life tomorrow evening.

I think your problem might be two part-one,maybe they're just cheap or "cold".The other could be fear of it being a scam,which I can understand.

After 9/11,nearly every day I'd have people comming to my door saying they were "collecting money" for the familys of the survivers.It was mostly little kids and a few adults mixed in.

What was strange is that usually,in cases like that,the folks have a clip board with a form with an official letterhead on it and you sign your name and write down your phone # and how much you donated.

These people had NOTHING.They'd just stick the money in their pockets and head off to spend the money on something.

My response to each one was "I've already donated,thanks".Everyone of them looked VERY disapointed.

Brian.

I posted a reply then deleted it.

I don't see the need for an anonymous nic and distrust the reason for it.

There has been several occasions when members of this forum have requested assistance, prayers, or just wanted to let the members know of the suffering of their wife, child, or parent. No one here turned a deft ear.
The compassion of our forum is immense!

I see no reason for an anonymous post.
The members of this forum are a diverse group of people with backgrounds that run the gambit of human experiences.
The more we know about a person the more we can relate and empathize.
Please step forward anon,. . . tell us about you and your wife.

[ 07-19-2003, 20:19: Message edited by: Rusty ]

My first wife passed away 3 years ago from Lupus. ( In fact today would have been our 28th anniversary) At times I found, people I had known, for years, reacted the same way. Most of these instances involved information relay not even soliciting donations. Unfortunately, people feel uncomfortable in circumstances like this most do not intend to be rude, they just don't know how to react and rather than just saying that their reaction, to you and I, feels cold.

The scam is another issue, as previously stated, however, I feel it is to easy for people to use that as an excuse. However, if you go into a place where YOU are a stranger, you need to go in with your eyes open and realize the reaction you experienced is very possible. Don't take it personally. While you are feeling sorry for yourself you are waisting time searching out those people that will want to support YOUR cause.

Our prayers are with your wife and you, Good Luck

"Z"

Sorry about the anonymous handle. I didn't realize that it would be a problem.
Again, I'm not here looking for a donation. I was just really surprized by the unanimous cold sholder in a place where they know me by sight, and where I have done MUCH bussiness in the past. I did walk in and say hello first, then very politely said that our family was participateing in the walk for life and would any of them be interested in donating. I did have the official envelope with places for people to write the name etc.
I was in the Navy for 8 years and did Electronic Warfare. I participated in Panama, Somalia, and several tours in the Gulf. While comeing back from the Gulf, I injured my back carring missle decoys. We were takeing them from the ready service locker to the armoury for storage prior to pulling into pearl harbour. I tried to go for 20 years, but the pain in my back was too great, so they gave me an honarble discharge and sent me to the VA. I'm a disabled vet 80% and in school working on a degree in Electrical Engineering with a minor in Computer science. My wife is a Nurse and was diagnosed with Non-Hodgdons Lymphoma, low grade follicular, B cell in 95'. We took a trip to the Bahamas then came back and started chemo. After the chemo, she couldn't work any longer and is now disabled. Her memory is scetchy and she has nerve damage from the chemo, so her hands twitch and move uncontrollably. We moved from Washington back to Idaho so I could be near my children from my first marriage. I had two, she had one, and now we have one together.
Her cancer was in remission, then became active but stable while she was pregnant with our 4yo son Erin. Recently it changed to a moderate grade and grew sone huge masses in her abdomen. 7x14cm, large Potato size, wrapped around the aorta just below the diaphram, another large cluster next the the pancreas and multiple 2cm size throughout the torso. She started chemo again 3 weeks ago, it will be every 3 weeks through the first of the year. The Dr. says there is an 80% chance that they can wipeout all the new growth, but the low grade will always be there.
I had my FFL while in the Navy and sold to guys on the ship for cost + 10%, it supported my habbit, I have a rather large collection, probably not as large as some here.
I got half severance pay from the Navy and bought a Smithy combo machine to play on.
I saved and bought all the stuff for my 470NE double project before we found out about the new problem or I wouldn't be doing it. It's all bought and paid for and here, so I'm working on it. It's a good distraction from things.

That's me and the family in the readers digest version.
We did hit up family and friends and raised just over $900 for the walk.

A picture of my wife Leah.

We know she has won her eternal reward for her suffering and faith. Thank You for your kind thoughts. I didn't really mention that for sympathy but to relate the point I had walked the walk and talked the talk, i.e. talking from experience. "Z"

Lar45 and Zedman I wish you all the best.

Remember: K.T.F. KEEP THE FAITH

Its hard to come to friends and ask them for something when its that personal but, we need friends,UNDERSTANDING ONES the most!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thoughts and prayers of my family are with you.

Rusty
We band of brothers!

My prayers are with you all....

I donate and walk each year in Filer, Idaho and we raise a lot of money for such a small town and lots of folks show up...

We don't collet money around town, we invite folks to come out and join us, they usually donate...

I will keep you and your wife in my prayers Glenn,may God and his Son Jesus Christ bless you and the family.

Glenn, sent you a mail mate.

Karl.

Lars45

It is sad to hear of your wife's problems and I hope her health improves. Also that the new growth can be removed and you can enjoy many more years together.

I apologise for my usual level of "paranoia" with your anonymous post but this thread does mean more with the "real" person posting.

I hope your .470 project provides some fun.

Reading your first post I didn't realise the people in the business you visited knew you well. I find it really surprising that you got such a cold shoulder. But you find out whom your true friends are when things aren't so good.

Hope your wife enjoys the walk.

Good luck.

Lar45, I understand your pain, haveing a doughter who is slowly dieing for lack of a kidney for transplant! God be with your wife!