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This was just printed in our local paper, I BELIEVE THAT A REAL CRISIS MAY BE LOOMING! Please read and see if there is any way that you can help. thanks

Associated Press; by staff reporter Mike Roberts
Dateline; Libby, Montana 061912
A situation is unfolding in this quiet northwest corner of Montana that has many local residents on edge. The County Commissioners recently called for an emergency meeting with the Sheriff as well as other local government officials to formulate a plan to deal with a potential situation unlike any seen in modern history. It had long been thought that the rumored sightings of large, hairy, elephant like creatures up near the glacial peaks were just the products of vivid imaginations or the consumption of too much liquor by loggers working in that oxygen starved environment. Now according to classified reports recently released by the Montana Dept. of Fish Wildlife and Parks, there may be a much more terrifying reason for the sightings; the creatures may actually exist! According to FWP documents and reports from several U.S. Fish & Wildlife biologists assigned to the case, it appears that the recent rapid glacial thaw brought on by global warming may have exposed a previously undiscovered vestigial herd of woolly mammoths as well as a variety of other creatures from that frozen period of time.(Editors note; While the theory of re-animation had been previously discounted by most scientists, many recent examples of primitive strains of mold developing on food left in the frigid confines of the laboratories refrigerator have reignited interest in the concept). Anecdotal reports of missing livestock are further fueling speculation that saber tooth cats and other large toothy predators may have also been unleashed during this unheralded climatic event.

At a recent public forum there were calls to bring in everything from the National Guard to the U.S. Army mountain division. During that standing room only meeting, local resident Jay Sheffield announced to the now hushed crowd, his bold plan to deal with the situation. Sheffield who is a lifelong hunter and a self described veteran of over 500 internet postings on the pursuit of dangerous game, volunteered to test the skills of any man woman or child who owned a big bore rifle. Sheffield said that he would be willing to forgo his daily internet routine of spending countless hours critiquing the actions of others and put on a series of evaluations. At the end of this evaluation he would then certify a team of highly competent men (and women and children) to pursue those creatures that would make lesser men (and women and children) tremble in their boots. Sheffield noted that summer is scheduled to fall on a weekend this year and proposed that Sunday the 22nd day of July be the time set for the test. Sheffield has designed a series of scenarios and targets that will reflect the many challenges that may be encountered during this extraordinary pursuit. After making this incredibly selfless offer to the community, a group has come forward to assist Jay and his band of brave men (and women and children) by providing food and drink to those who attend the event. A local clothier has offered to provide a neon green t-shirt to everyone who attends, so that they may be immediately recognized by all around them as having the requisite mental and physical toughness as well as the superior skills at arms necessary to protect our community from these primordial pests. Persons interested in participating in this incredible opportunity are advised to click on the link below and follow the instructions carefully.
http://forums.accuratereloadin...4711043/m/9361089471


"The difference between adventure and disaster is preparation."
"The problem with quoting info from the internet is that you can never be sure it is accurate" Abraham Lincoln
 
Posts: 1628 | Location: Montana Territory | Registered: 27 March 2010Reply With Quote
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Sheffield said that he would be willing to forgo his daily internet routine of spending countless hours critiquing the actions of others and put on a series of evaluations.


rotflmo

Good one, Jay.

George


 
Posts: 14623 | Location: San Antonio, TX | Registered: 22 May 2001Reply With Quote
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That's funny! But what the hell is Ms. Marino of Negotiation-Is-Over gonna think of this?


Paul Smith
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I strongly recommend avoidance of "The Zambezi Safari & Travel Co., Ltd." and "Pisces Sportfishing-Cabo San Lucas"

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Posts: 2545 | Location: The 'Ham | Registered: 25 May 2007Reply With Quote
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I know a buch of sasquatches must be catching some livestock and selling it in Mexico, Canada,....
 
Posts: 1126 | Registered: 03 June 2005Reply With Quote
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"Catch 'im... Eat 'im!"


Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
 
Posts: 428 | Location: Western Montana | Registered: 05 June 2008Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by PSmith:
That's funny! But what the hell is Ms. Marino of Negotiation-Is-Over gonna think of this?


Dang, I forgot all about her. I better forward this ASAP and await her instructions! Roll Eyes


"The difference between adventure and disaster is preparation."
"The problem with quoting info from the internet is that you can never be sure it is accurate" Abraham Lincoln
 
Posts: 1628 | Location: Montana Territory | Registered: 27 March 2010Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by Paolo9,5x73:
I know a buch of sasquatches must be catching some livestock and selling it in Mexico, Canada,....

Hold on, Paolo9,5x73- after the mad cow scare a few years ago, its illegal to transport beef across the US border. If those sasquatches are up to those sort of shenanagins, Holder is bound to come after em in the pursuit of justice...
If they,re sellin wooly mammoth, I don,t believe there are any laws that expressly forbid the import/export of said critter at the moment.
Course, havin to deal with exchange rates and such, might be a tough business.
 
Posts: 806 | Location: Ketchikan, Alaska | Registered: 24 April 2011Reply With Quote
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