About a week and a half ago, I noticed a gap between the soffit and the edge of the roof trim on the west side of our house. A bird that came flying out gave me a clue as to what the problem was. A similar problem occurred on the opposite end of the house last year and required a tall ladder, nails and a bit of work to remove bunches of nesting material. The culprit; the European Starling.

I didn’t mention the problem to my wife (a.k.a. Sweetsums). She is a city girl with a real concern for home maintenance. I knew that at the first mention of a bird problem, I would not rest until it was solved. She doesn’t have any interest in hunting but doesn’t mind if I do and, where it comes to a bird in her house, would just as soon have said bird killed. I was happy to oblige but needed to devise a plan.

Ordinarily, I solve nuisance animal problems with such things as a 222 Remington, a 30/06 Springfield or even a 458 Lott. The problem was, I would be shooting up at a target near my roof. I didn’t want a hole in my roof and I didn’t want to launch rifle bullets over a populated area. My pellet gun seemed to be a viable option.

My pellet gun is a cheap Chinese model; one that is spring powered with a break-open action. Though it doesn’t look that good, it is durable, has sights adjustable for windage and elevation and has acceptable power and accuracy. A couple of days ago, I got the pellet gun out and did a little target shooting to make sure the sights were as they should be. Sweetsums was curious as to what I was doing but, since I’m shooting stuff all the time, didn’t ask too many questions.

The next day, I broke the news of the new residents to Sweetsums. She was upset and wanted to know what “we†were going to do about it. I told her that I had sighted in my pellet gun with the intention of killing the intruder. She wanted to know how she could help.

The bird would come out of the gap between the soffit and roof trim about every time I came around the corner of the house sometimes pausing briefly before flying off. I thought that if I had my pellet gun with me, I would be able to get a shot off if it would just pause briefly. It didn’t pause briefly.

The next morning while surveying some front yard landscaping we’re working on, the starling came out of its nest and landed in some trees not too far away. I told Sweetsums to stay put and went for my pellet gun. By the time I returned, it was gone (not surprising since it took some time to find my pellets which I had misplaced).

The bird was anxious to get back to its nest and landed in the tree again but didn’t stay long. If flew off and landed in a tree about 50 yards away. I knew my chance of hitting it was slim but desperate times call for desperate measures so I took the shot and missed.

Sweetsums and I went indoors and waited. The plan was for Sweetsums to go upstairs to my office and start banging on the wall to scare the bird out while I would wait outside and shoot it as it emerged from its nest. When the bird came out, it came out fast. I had no chance for a shot. I lost sight of it as it approached the corner of the northeast 50 (about 500 yards away).

About that time I heard a voice. There was no one but Sweetsums around and she wasn’t talking at the time. It said, GET THE SHOTGUN STUPID!

You may consider it strange that I didn’t consider the shotgun before but, for most of my life, I’ve been accustomed to think rifle or handgun rather than shotgun when hunting anything. In fact, the only reason I ever got a shotgun, a Mossberg 500 costing less than $200, was that I wanted to hunt Ohio deer and, rifle hunting not being permitted, it seemed like the best option. I used the smooth bore barrel for it on one occasion for bird hunting. For my first shot at a flying bird, a pheasant, I connected and killed it.

Several years ago, I took a job in a new location. Several of my coworkers are avid bird hunters. They invited me to shoot sporting clays with them. My first shot at a bird must have been beginners luck because I did very poorly. In fact, the only clays I hit were 2 of the “rabbits.†Part of my problem may have been the full choke installed in my barrel. My Christmas gift for that year, displayed before my coworkers at a Christmas party, was a box of 100 clay pigeons and a plastic gizmo to throw them with (I still have all of them by the way).

Last year, I was going to go pheasant hunting with the boys so decided to get professional help. During a stay at the Greenbrier, I had the pros on the sporting clays course analyze my technique. It turns out, that the stock on my shotgun is a bit too short for me. With an additional pad on the butt thereof, they soon had me knocking clays out of the skies. They didn’t even laugh at my Mossberg 500 but maybe were just being polite.

Before the scheduled pheasant hunt, I and a couple of the boys, went out to shoot sporting clays again. They weren’t laughing quite so hard that time. In fact, at the first station, I hit both “birds†while they had a miss or two; they appeared a bit worried. I didn’t bother to tell them about my remedial training and, thought I’m still not a crack shot with a shotgun, at least I didn’t embarrass myself whilst pheasant hunting.

But, I digress. I guess I’m trying to explain why I didn’t think of the shotgun in the first place. Flying bird…shotgun…DUH!

With 12 gauges in hand, I went around the corner of the house and Sweetsums banged the wall in my office. The bird came blasting out of crack in my house. It was getting wise to me by this time and headed out around and in back of the top of a white pine tree. Too bad…at least part of a load of one and a quarter ounces of number eight shot, choked improved cylinder rather than full choke, caught it and dropped it like a bad habit dead as a doornail.

I doubt I’ll ever be as good with a shotgun as with a rifle since my passion is more with single projectile firearms than with scatter guns but then, blasting birds out of the sky does give some satisfaction.

STARLING RECIPE

3 1/2 cups self-rising flour
1 cup pretty hot water.

Pound some canned biscuit mix out flat and cut into 1 1/2-inch strips.

23 starlings well covered with water (clean birds first) then breast em out and chunk em up.
Chunk up 1 lb. sausage links and throw that in.

Cook a couple hours or until the smell gets to you. Pepper and season with "Slap yo Mama".

When birds are tender, keep broth at a boil and drop in biscuit strips - piece by piece, shake or stir pot constantly to keep pieces separated.

Put the lid back on and let cook for approximately 12 minutes.

Let set til you get the nerve to try it or call Kamo - he will try anything and even eats game meat raw - or close to it.

Let me know how it tastes.

Pshaw. You haven't lived until you've tried whale sashimi, P. Raw birds is kids' stuff.

Nice write-up, fellah, but a scattergun? Sheeit. Next time try something a little sporting. A can of sweetsum's hairspray and a lighter sounds about right. That, or a squash racket. I mean, give the thing a fighting chance!

KG

KG:

OK, I'll bite. What the heck is "Whale sashimi"? (Before you answer, I do want to caution you that the United States {of which I understand Massachusetts to still be one of the "states" - although I could get an argument about that in some parts} observes whale protection treaties. (No insulting replies about the current status of the NY Yankees will be tolerated)

Gerry I look forward to hearing about that too. Hopefully that shashimi is not what comes out of the back end of a whale.

Gerry, you're making an assumption, my friend. I did not say where I eat it. This ain't Boston:



And this ain't tuna:



Pics were taken at the largest fish market in the world, at Tsukiji, in Tokyo, Japan. That's a piece of raw minke whale you see in the second pic, with ginger, scallion and a touch of shoyu. About 3 seconds after that pic was taken, my tastebuds were absoutely cheering with glee. Seriously, whale is some of the best groceries out there, IMO. Just ask the Norwegians, Eskimo or the Japanese... But then, different strokes for different folks, I realize.

Cheers,

KG