An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room
And approached the desk....
The Receptionist said,
'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said,
'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room
And say things like that.'

'Why not?
You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied;
'Now you've caused some embarrassment
In this room full of people.
You should have said there
Is something wrong with your ear or something,
And discussed the problem further
With the Doctor in private.'

The man replied,
'You shouldn't ask people questions
In a room full of strangers,
If the answer could embarrass anyone.'

The man walked out,
Waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled,
Knowing he had taken her advice.
'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

A few years ago I was taking my son in for a "Sports Physical" and while sitting in the waiting room a fellow who looked to be about my age came in leading an elderly fellow who looked to be in his late 80's. The old boy was apparently a bit deaf and as the son toppled him into a chair he said in a very loud clear voice "DAD, SIT HERE WHILE I GET YOU CHECKED IN!!". He then went to the receptionist window signed the sheet and gave the insurance info to the lady there announcing that "MY FATHER, MR SMITH IS HERE TO SEE THE DOCTOR!!" in the same volume that he used with his dad. The receptionist asked them to have a seat, but before she could finish he added "WHO DO I NEED TO SEE TO GET ONE OF THOSE VIAGRA SAMPLER PACKS?!?!". He was referred to the doctor during his dad's checkup.
Back to the old boy he goes and just as he sits down he says "YOU'RE READY TO GO, THEY'RE GOING TO FIX BOTH OF US RIGHT UP!!!!"

Nothing wrong with getting old or having an ailment, but I'd rather not announce to the fifteen or so people sitting in the waiting room that little Richard needed chemical support.

Too funny!

Hope neither of you guys ever have such problems.

May I suggest you get a colonoscopy after age 40 and every 8-10 years thereafter. I had one in late April-- my first ever. The worst part is having to drink four liters of the stuff that keeps you tied to the porcelain convenience for four hours. The actual look up the tush is painless-- you're sedated. But once you get the pictures back and you see you are free of anything that could kill you, it's all worth it...

A colonoscopy is a walk in the park. Try a prostate biopsy for grins. I'm still recovering. No anesthesia. You get to enjoy two enemas. A probe the size of an upright vacuum cleaner handle up the kazoo that houses an ultrasound unit and a device that fires a needle through your large intestine into your prostate at least a dozen times, after being manuveured into position at different locations on the prostate. You don't miss a thing. You feel every shot, and every twist and turn of the probe.

The follow-up, in my case, was an ecoli infection in the blood that resulted in a 103 degree fever, a four-day stay in the hospital, and seven days of self medication through a catheter (picc-line) that was inserted in a vein in my bicep and stopped 44 cm later above my heart. You also get to piss blood for a week. There are other side effects that will make you think you are going to bleed to death, but that's enough for now.

The only good part was that after seven days of anguish and suspense, all biopsy samples came back negative for cancer.

And that's to avoid getting sick!

quote:

A colonoscopy is a walk in the park. Try a prostate biopsy for grins. I'm still recovering. No anesthesia. You get to enjoy two enemas. A probe the size of an upright vacuum cleaner handle up the kazoo that houses an ultrasound unit and a device that fires a needle through your large intestine into your prostate at least a dozen times, after being manuveured into position at different locations on the prostate. You don't miss a thing. You feel every shot, and every twist and turn of the probe.

The follow-up, in my case, was an ecoli infection in the blood that resulted in a 103 degree fever, a four-day stay in the hospital, and seven days of self medication through a catheter (picc-line) that was inserted in a vein in my bicep and stopped 44 cm later above my heart. You also get to piss blood for a week. There are other side effects that will make you think you are going to bleed to death, but that's enough for now.

The only good part was that after seven days of anguish and suspense, all biopsy samples came back negative for cancer.

Good to hear you made it back alive. I've been fortunate. I'm almost 51 and have never had so much as a broken bone...