You can retire to California where...

1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.
OR

You can retire to New York City where...

1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR

You can retire to Minnesota where...

1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different," "She is different," or "It was different!"

OR

You can retire to The Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his/her heart” at the end!

OR

You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR


You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

OR, FINALLY

You can retire to Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

VERRRRY GOOD !!

Except in N.Y. City a shooting sport is a DRIVE BY SHOOTING !!!

Hip

I am retired and could live any where I want.

None of those places were are and never will be a choice.

My idea of a place to live means I can pee out the front door shoot out the back door. Actually I can do both out of each door.

And have no one complaining about either.

I have lived in places like that 98 Percent of my life.

quote:

Originally posted by p dog shooter:
I am retired and could live any where I want.

None of those places were are and never will be a choice.

My idea of a place to live means I can pee out the front door shoot out the back door. Actually I can do both out of each door.

And have no one complaining about either.

I have lived in places like that 98 Percent of my life.

I too live remote but gave up northern winters when I did retire. Still have four seasons where I am just not plowing snow all the time. Done with that nonsense.

Since I grow, forage and hunt most of my food I go to 'town' roughly twice a month. No need to leave otherwise.

quote:

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

Hey... I live in Idaho and am not retired (far from it)... but I resemble this remark!

Retirement means every day is Saturday……

quote:

Originally posted by p dog shooter:
I am retired and could live any where I want.

None of those places were are and never will be a choice.

My idea of a place to live means I can pee out the front door shoot out the back door. Actually I can do both out of each door.

And have no one complaining about either.

I have lived in places like that 98 Percent of my life.

That sounds like me, and I love it. Great to plink at coyotes out the back door, only drawback being I have to worry about Grizzlies in my yard, but that gives my place it's charm.

Grizz

I'm still out in the country + have my range in the valley below my house but several years ago a guy moved in on the next property over + built his house right behind my backstop. so, wanting to be a good neighbor I moved all my concrete shooting benchs 180 degrees + damned if the new other property owner didn't put up her horse barn right behind my new backstop. Kinda reminds me of the Guy Clark song, lamenting too many folks moving in, "Why just the other day, I thought I saw a church steeple."

quote:

Originally posted by jdollar:
Retirement means every day is Saturday……

Retirement means no days off

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
I'm still out in the country + have my range in the valley below my house but several years ago a guy moved in on the next property over + built his house right behind my backstop. so, wanting to be a good neighbor I moved all my concrete shooting benchs 180 degrees + damned if the new other property owner didn't put up her horse barn right behind my new backstop. Kinda reminds me of the Guy Clark song, lamenting too many folks moving in, "Why just the other day, I thought I saw a church steeple."

I am fortunate that no one lives on or has structures on the properties that border me. 100% privacy.

Gave me some chuckles, Ann. Thanks for posting.

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
I'm still out in the country + have my range in the valley below my house but several years ago a guy moved in on the next property over + built his house right behind my backstop. so, wanting to be a good neighbor I moved all my concrete shooting benchs 180 degrees + damned if the new other property owner didn't put up her horse barn right behind my new backstop. Kinda reminds me of the Guy Clark song, lamenting too many folks moving in, "Why just the other day, I thought I saw a church steeple."

My back stop is against federal property the other two adjoining properties I have first right of refusal.

I do have plans to buy them if they come up for sale.

Interesting thread! I live in North East Florida where we still have four seasons. I am enjoying one of them now. The town (Jacksonville) is not huge, but has all the facilities I need. I shoot skeet once a week. The shooting club I belong to has facilities for pistol and rifle shooting (up to 200 yards), and there is another range about 30 miles away that has an 850 yard range. Not out of my back door, but there when I want to use it. I play tennis, table tennis and go to the gym. So, while living out in the country has it's attractions (hunting is not close by), I like being around people as well. I have a lake in the backyard where bass fishing is fun (catch and release). So, I enjoy my retirement where I live. Oh, I did not mention the Atlantic coast beaches, about 5 miles away!
Peter

Retired with two properties (+/-6 acres) in far north Idaho fully owned with a pretty nice house on six acres here outside Bourne Texas that has also gone stupid with pricing. The three boys know what is coming.