As of 11/01/08 I will be a new dad. My wife and I will be having our first child. It will be a girl unfortunately (just kidding). My wife say that is what I deserve because I am not affectionate enough and a daughter will help me to bring that out. I already know that she will be the pride of my life every time I think about her I swell up in my chest just a little bit and stand a little taller. My wife says that if I love my daughter as much as I love my dog I will be the best father anyone could ask for. I have no clue as to how to be a father and it scares me to death to think that I am going to be responsible for the life of another person. I have always been pretty good with kids but being good with kids and raising a kid are two totally different things. I have read the books and watched the shows and I feel like I am physically ready but mentally I am swimming with a million thoughts. It only seems like yesterday that my wife walked out of the bathroom holding a test strip with tears of joy in her eyes and now the day is upon us. I am looking for any advice from my friends here that will hopefully calm my nerves and help to prepare me for the rest of my life as not only a dad but as a true father.

You are about to become a second class citizen in your house.

She will become the center of everyone's universe.

About 6 months after she arrives you will realize that she is now 14, no longer your little princess, and way to interested in boys.

Good for you my first was a girl she loves to hunt and is a very good shot.

She 23 I am trying to talk her into a RRS.(rich ranchers son)

Just remember to make sure she understands the word no from a early age and that you mean it. It will make raiseing her much easier.

Spend time with her. Kids don't understand or appreciate that you were away earning a living so that they can have nice things, attend private schools and go on vacations with their mother. Maybe they will when they are older. That's just advice from someone who woke up too late. Congrat's and good luck.

Well it is going to be a few years before she can hold her own on a lot of stuff, but start being active with her now, or in a few months anyway.

Here is some other advice that you won't need for a few years yet, but it is good to know so you can get used to it:

One of my favorite sayings regarding kids and outdoor activities-

You can go fishing, or you can take a kid fishing, but you can't do both!

It also applies for hunting too.

The good news is like all other good investments, it pays off big time in the future! Just realize that kids are their own person, and your job is to help them grow up into an adult that is healthy and self sufficient.

Anyway, there's a lot more stuff but you'll figure it out when you need to.

P.S.-

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

P.P.S.-

Post a pic here ASAP of the lil' bundle of joy.

I've said this before to friends, but raising a child is very similar to training a dog and I mean that as an example of how to do it right. It takes patience, love, and knowledge. Never punish your child when you are angry. Count to 1000, whatever, get rational before doing anything, be sure the child really knows what she did is wrong and why, otherwise say why it's wrong and not to do it again and let it go. I'm not opposed to corporal punishment but think it should be used VERY sparingly and in minimal doses to get the point across. IMO the child should ALWAYS be told that if he continues X behavior he will be spanked and X behavior has to be pretty anti-social, otherwise take less severe actions. For example, my son then about 4, and probably with provocation, whacked his 18 month younger sister. I told him that a) he was older and couldn't beat up on smaller people, b) he was a boy and his sister was girl and boys didn't hit girls c) that even if he was hit first or whatever that he was to get us (his parents) and let us handle it and finally d) if he didn't do this, that I would inflict more pain on him than he did on his sister. It wasn't two hours before he whacked her again, again, probably with provocation. I, took him into another room, and more or less gently spanked his butt with my open hands a couple of times, eliciting a few tears. Apparently the gentle approach wasn't enough. Same thing, different day, a couple of days later, so I took him into another room, and wore his little butt out, with resultant loud (and real) crying and wailing. Asked him, "Did that hurt?" Crying, snuffling, "YES!", "Ok, remember it, if you hit your sister again, then it will be worse." He did, he hasn't hit her again, and that was the last time I've ever had to hit him, but as a mid-teenager now the urge comes up from time to time. If you love your kids and they know it, then your admonitions will be punishment enough.

Sounds like simple advice but don't overly spoil them and don't let her grandparents spoil them. Teach them that "things" cost money and or time.

Teach them to behave in public at an early age. Uncontrolled children are an abomination in stores, restaurants, etc, especially as they get older. If they don't behave, take them home immediately or one of you take them to the car while the other completes the reason for the shopping trip. Don't expect, nor demand perfection but do expect reasonable obedience.

Love them, value them, and be proud of them, all of the time and most important, tell them so and let them know that they are a loved and valued part of the family with responsibilities to the family as they grow older and can handle them.

Oh, one more thing, be consistent, and don't be put in the position of the bad guy. Don't let Mommy say, "If you don't behave, I'm going to tell Daddy." Both of you should punish/control your child at the time of the infraction. Everything should be a shared decision as to the appropriate action.

Hope this helps, I may sound negative, but I'm not....having children is one of the most fulfilling experiences a couple can have. Just remember, like training a dog, you'll spend a lot of the first 3 or 4 years saying, "NO!"

quote:

Love them, value them, and be proud of them, all of the time and most important, tell them so and let them know that they are a loved and valued part of the family with responsibilities to the family as they grow older and can handle them.

best advice in the world this. by the sound of it you're well on your way. enjoy here the time you will have with here is short

I have three daughters, now young women aged 22, 21 and 19 years old. What I have found is that they are more like me than they even know. I am as proud of them as any father is of his children. They aren't exactly what I wanted them be, they have as many of my faults as they do my qualities. If I had been better, they would be better. Be the best you can be, your children will be the benficiairies.

Take real good care of her. She will llikely head the committee that will pick your nursing home. You don't want to end up in one that smells like pee.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. Sorry it has taken so long to get back with a update things have been kind of busy lately as I am sure that you can imagine. Mother and daughter are both doing great me on the other hand I am not sure yet but each day that goes by is a little easier than the last. My brand new daughter was born on Nov. 1 at 5:04 p.m. and she weighted 8lb. 5oz. and is the picture of perfection. If I can find the time in the next few days I will post a few pictures but for now I just want everyone to know that all is well.