Is it just me, or are some of you guys tired of the old hangers on with the same old cliches, the same old delivery, the same old meaningless platitudes? Or, worse yet, the young bucks who think they ARE the game?

A great sports caster is truly a wonderful talent and an essential part of the game. It's an art form in and of itself. I could never do it.

Remember the guys who would walk you quietly through one or two sub-plots as they called the game, spinning a story only indirectly related to the action on the field, yet every bit as interesting? It was as if they were talking only to you. And yet they never got in the way of the game. They never belived or acted like they were the game. And suddenly, when the action on the field required, they were there with clear, concise, descriptive language. No screaming, no subjective conclusions, no attempts to be part of the action, just plain words that painted a picture. Where are they now?

Frankly, most of the guys we have now could never do that. And they just keep hanging on. They sound bad, and they look worse on camera. Their respective games have passed them by. I used to love Al Michaels and John Madden, but now I usually turn the sound down.

Who are the good ones now?

I am pleased to report I have not listened to radio or viewed television in 3-1/2 years.

Rule #1: Announcers were "better" 40 years ago than now -- not because they were more talented, but because commercialization was less severe. Announcers had more air time to nuance the contest, to entertain us with the pattern and flow.

Rule #2: Radio announcers are superior to television. They must be because they paint word pictures.
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When the football Cardinals moved from Chicago to St. Louis in the late '50s, their play-by-play announcer was J.C. Politz (spelling??). He was -- hands down -- the funniest of them all, rendering inaccuracy into art.

The most droll announcer I've heard is a toss-up between Jack Buck broadcasting on KMOX for the Cardinals and Vin Scully broadcasting for the Dodgers. Having written that, Buck was superior in other facets of the craft.

The most exciting announcer, for me, was Dan Kelly broadcasting for the expansion St. Louis Blues in their first years. His broadcast during the Blues-Canadiens Stanley Cup finals hooked me on hockey until I could no longer tolerate Blues' hyperbole -- Gary Unger as savior finished me.

That 1967 (??) Stanley Cup was incredibly exciting because the core of the Blues was old Canadiens, and Jean Beliveau, the Canadiens' star center, was out with injuries. The Blues lost four straight, each game lost by a single goal. And a couple of those games went into overtime. It was there that I first noted defenseman Al Arbor's "face save."

There is no such thing as good sports announcers. Sports on tv is worse than the plague. Everytime I try to listen to the radio or the few times I watch the news its always plagued by damn sports. What a waste.