I put this on Preditor Hunter site. Thought I'd try it here, too.


I thought I'd post an email I sent to everyone, the response has been pretty good. I tend to poke fun at myself if I get a chance. Also I damaged my neck and back several years ago- it's alluded to in the email.

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I shot an eight pointer today!

I set up at Jim's in the back corner of a pasture, in a fair spot. I knew a doe and two fawn went through there every day so I figured I'd "harvest" the doe. Harvest is the fashionable kill-a-deer term at the moment. Sounds gay to me.

Anyway, I got there with my elephant gun but without the magazine making it a single shot. Oh well, at least I had gloves, a knife and my license. The gun shoots so well I don't need more than one shot. I don't have a big freezer so don't need to shoot five deer like I did once in Minnesota.

The elephant gun, truly legal for elephant, was on sale for $400, while they sell used for $800 so I bought it figuring I need one truly stupid gun in my life. Turns out it is phenomally accurate and doesn't kick at all when I shoot small bullets going reall slow. When I shoot big bullets with the right powder it throws flame three feet across, six feet forward and bellers like naval artillery. That's just for showing off. Cause it also kicks hard when I do that. The macho, tight-fisted guys I shoot with sure scream though. Even had one pull out his check book and beg me to sell it! I need to name the rifle. DoomClapper or something.

The rifle is an ingenious tool for deer hunting It flings deer like a dishrag! I shot a buck a couple years ago when he was jumping a fence, he was snatched out of the air and stapled to the ground! I stood there stunned stupid. I've shot deer with it since and am always amazed at how it works. THe bullets going so slow don't damage the meat like a lot of fast, fancy calibers do- they inject blood and bone splinters through meat druining a lot of it. This rifle is like a shotgun shooting slugs- you can eat right up to the hole.

So I was reading my book. DOn't ever go hunting without a book or, in cold weather, a fire between your feet while you're sitting on a lawn chair. THat's how Dad does it. Works for him, too.

I hear a noise, look up and a little buck with BIG HORNS! was mosying along horn-smashing trees as he walked. Kind of how Festus acts when he feels especially good.

I had to make a snap decision since we were looking at each other. He looked pretty small, we only get one buck here so I wanted to save my "harvest" for a gigantuan, and besides, I wasn't feeling real well and didn't look forward to dragging a buck up a little hill and down a very long one. One year I followed a deer with my sights finally letting him go because I was still too hurt to deal with a downed deer. I couldn't even climb a barbwire fence that day. I was pretty bad then.

I whipped the rifle up and blasted him saying to myself "NOT THE HORNS!" when I shot. (I only had a head and neck showing). Got him through the neck. Down he went twitching. I sat there for the longest time wondering how stupid I really am looking at the poor fella.

Finally I got up and walked over, climbed the fence and squatted down on my heals looking him over wondering if it was going to be worth it.

Couldn't drag him to the fence since the fence was too low to get his horns under and too tall to get him over. I walked up the hill and down a step or two and found a likely spot. Only I couldn't even pull him or move him (a little heavier than I thought). I finally got him to the fence but couldn't even get his shoulders off the ground. DRAT.

I walked all the way back to Jim's (he's in Ohio so he is no help) and got a pully system he has hanging on the wall waiting for me to borrow. Walk back to the buck. Set it way up on a branch, hooked it on a horn. Couldn't lift even the shoulders off the ground. DRAT!!!

I finally hooked it to the bottom of the fence and dragged it up high enough to get the head under. It was an old hog-type fence with the squares. Dragged and pulled until he went under. Nearly had a siezure. Even had to lay down awhile. The hill I needed to climb was only 25 feet high but was so steep it scared me. How, when I can't even drag him over a fence, was I going to get him back to Jims?

I put the ropes and the pulley system in my back pack and tried to move him. Dang. He wasn't moving, not an inch. So I figured I had to gut him right there. Innards in an animal are at least 20% of the animals wieght so if I was going to have any hope of getting him back I had to do it right then. The reason I didn't want to gut him there was I didn't want a stinky gutpile scaring off my doe. Sometimes plans just stink.

I got the guts out, the hole holding his vitals was so deep it scared me, was like gutting an aircraft carrier. And almost made me curse. I had gutting-gloves so I stayed clean. Took a long time, though.

The deer still wieghed a lot and almost killed me trying to get up the hill. After a lifetime I crested the hill not even realizing I had since I was struggling so hard with my head down. Going down hill didn’t help much. I had to stop every fifteen or twenty feet and catch my breath. Laid down to stop the twitching a couple of times. I caught myself staring up at the clouds while the rain was falling in my face [insert your thoughts here].

If I had to work like that on a job I'd tell them I hurt myself a while back and just quit. I wouldn't do it or more like I couldn't do it. Only thing is I couldn't leave a deer lay there just because I was sore. So I kept going. I'd get these wild ideas like "I'm not a kid anymore." "I could have a heart attack." "People have heart attacks when they calm down so it could hit me an hour from now" "He probably was a baby at some time so I'm a bambi killer"...

The mud was so bad that I couldn't use Jim's loader tractor even if I had the key, I'd have hotwired it if it wasn't so wet, but I could see it down there as I was going along. Like a drunk looking in a saloon window at the revellers having fun I looked at the big Case backhoe tractor made just for little eight pointers.

I finally got it down to the fence and across in Jim's yard. The poor horses, Jorge especially since he's stupider, were snuffling and snorting at the bloody piled-up deer. That was funny. Reminded me of the Old Senator and Old Govornor (in their 70s) from Idaho that killed an elk. They were loading the quartered elk on the family pet- the twenty year old mule that had never done anything stupid in his entire life pet - kicked the senator in the head and knocked the govorner in a ravine. The govorner got hisself back up the hill and saw his best friend laying there head-kicked and just knew he'd died. He got him up on the trembling mule and into a hospital and they were both fine, eventually. So was the mule. Really happened. Could happen to me if I used a horse to get my bloody little buck back except I wouldn't have been able to get him off the ground.

GOt a small wagon to haul him into the barn except I couldn't lift him into the wagon. I tipped the wagon on end and tried to get the buck on end so I could tip the cart down with the little buck in it. Wouldn't work, nothing worked. If someone could tape me when I'm having one of these stupid-spells we could all be rich.

I eventually got him into the wagon, into the barn, onto a table covered with plastic (that part is for Jim's benefit in case he reads this) and butchered him. I have a lot of meat. I gave some to Kim and all since Rachael loves vennison so much. Plus I don't have a lot of room in my refrigerator-freezer combo. And I need to shoot the doe tomorrow if she hasn't shied from the gut pile in her way too much.


TED

Wait!

I like my rifle.

Glad you survived !! What was the rifle and load ??

I really understand. One time I shot two Deer on top of this mountain. I didn't think about how I was going to drag them down until it was too late to worry about.

So why didn't you just suitcase him where he fell, put him in grocery bags and carry him out a little load at a time?

Hey Ted, Great story which will keep that Buck's memory alive for many years for a lot of folks.

And yes, we are all interested in you telling us a bit more about the Rifle and Load.

Was there a particular reason you didn't just use one of the horses to "drag" the Buck back to the barn?