Well, I didn't actually see anything, but I was sure startled!

One night in the 1960's three of us were going out to call varmints. While we were traveling to the calling place, one of my friends kept asking me what you call animals which come out at night. I told him several times I didn't know and he insisted I did, for some reason--guess he thought I was smarter than I am!

Anyway I finally got a little sharp with him and he dropped it.

We got near where we wanted to call and started walking in to set up. A light fog was rolling in and we walked silently single file.

All of a sudden, a hand grabs me firmly on the shoulder and Max's voice hisses, "Nocturnals!"

I about jumped out of my skin and it's a wonder I didn't shoot someone. I just wasn't expecting to be attacked by a herd of NOCTURNALS. I blame that for my having to have a quadruple bypass in 2000!

I remember vividly many years ago I was out hunting grouse in the late fall. It was a terribly hot afternoon, and I could hear nosies of people talking up ahead of me. So I got down real low and snuck up to where the nosies were coming from. Here a guy was setting a trap next to a beaver damn. He was in the water with hip boots on. And about 15 feet from him was his girlfriend (i presume). Anyway, she was sitting on a fallen log and had her shirt and her bra off, and she was sitting there kind of fanning her breasts to (i presume) keep them cool. Needless to say, I backed off, and I don't think they ever knew I was there.

What is the weirdest thing you ever saw while you were out hunting?

I was hunting years ago in the fall. I ended up following this guy and my guess was that he was an attorney. I can't say why I thought that but I still think it is true. He had an odd way about him. Everyone he met in the field that day was asked a horde of questions, from what kind of socks they used hunting to why they like the gun they carried, ad nauseum. People shaking their head and getting their distance from him. He walked with an usual gate, partly as a result of the toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

Then I heard some voices ahead and he began to creep low and quietly. Well as quietly as a suspected attorney can do anything. He got closer and stopped moving. I moved to a better vantage point and saw a man behind a beaver dam on a creek. The man's lady friend was topless and fanning her breasts. Then I noticed him fanning something or so it appeared from my vantage point behind him. I moved back and slipped away leaving them to their own devices. I never knew what his name was and soon moved to the west to get further away from another chance encounter.

...I have fallen off my chair in a fit of laughter...

LMAO... wonder if he got any pic's with the Hasselblad

ROFLMFAO

I doubt it, be kinda hard to click and jerk at the same time, even for a lawyer.

Chic, that was the funnest thing I have heard all day!! It really is a small world... to think you both are on this board now!!!

Customstox, That was just plain cruel, but if in fact he was fannin the unit and he was in fact an attorney, he would have to have an instruction sheet explaining how the fannin is done

That was an incredibly hilarious story, no doubt it is true too!

Wonder if this gentleman, who has such extensive deer hunting experience, has figure out yet that deer and elk anatomy are practically identical so one shoots elk in the same places they shoot deer?

I was heading to a place to hunt pheasants at the end of a dead end lane.When I pulled up theres a big pile of something in the road.I park and get out and go to investigate the pile.
As I get close enough to see some of the contents I say to myself WHOA!!!!! I better get a stick to stir thru this mess!
I got to sifting thru it with a stick and laughing.The pile consisted of a womens wig,a XXL flanel shirt,a womens bra,a towel,an ice cream scouper,3 bananas,a couple banana peels,and a HUGE 12" rubber dildo covered with what looked to be shit! and lots of shitty paper towels!
I don't know exactly what went on there and really don't want to know but it was a shitty experiance.

Wolfsangle, simple to figure out this riddle

Two attorney's going over some "Briefs"

Chic,

thanks, that was good for a really great laugh, and I am sure I'll keep laughing when I think on it. I was really getting wrapped in your story too, good job.

Personally I haven't hunted enough yet to see anything strange out hunting. I live in Kalifornia, so I have seen some incredibly stupid things, but nothing strange, yet.

Except one time we were tracking a small bear for a ways, over a mile, and came along a lean to, real fancy one. This thing was big enough for a few guys, a main pole at an angle with sticks layed along both sides. It was a work of art, I could stand up almost inside and I am 6'. The funny thing was that it was made for kids or something, as it had a little weber bbq sunk in the dirt and a little kids picnic table.

I left it the way we found it of course, hope it is still there as I would like my nephew to get to play in it.

Red

So there I was, taking a piss and talking to my hunting partner about what we should do next. We decide that I should set up where I'm at, and he go over the ridge. Well, I set up a spot and decide to see what is over the small hill above me. I put down my shotgun (since we were a bullshitin loud enough for God and everyone to hear) and walk over the little hump behind me. I look down to see a deer fast asleep 7 feet from me. I'm thinking: pull my knife, pick up a log, or tackle the deer. Then I think about all the stories I can tell if my tackle and knife kill go successful. Then I think about the sharp hooves, and a wild animal going ape shit would do to my body. So I decide to go get my shotun a few yards away and sneak back up...deer caught my scent and bounded away.

This happened 35 years ago in Alaska. My dad and I had flown in 2 days prior to the opening of sheep season to set up camp and confirm the sheep we had been spotting were still in the area....they were.

The morning before the opener I was walking along an old sheep trail on the way to glass the next drainage and noticed an old condom just off the path. It was at least 50 miles to the nearest road. I've often wondered how it got there.

I guess people hunt sheep for different reasons.

I'll bet the condom had been used to keep water outta some hunters rifle barrel.That used to be a common practice but tape has pretty much replaced the use of condoms.

You kids can laugh all you want. But the story is true, and I didn't do anything but walk quietly away.


Blue

Strange how most of these are of a SEXUAL nature!



I have two..... Back in 85 or 86 went antelope hunting locally and sat up on a big dirt pile in the middle of a huge expanse of praire. I was able to watch the road hunters and the game through my spotting scope all morning long. Here comes a guy with a rifle and a girl companion.

They set up on a small hill not 150 yds from me. I am sitting , with ORANGE on and a spotting scope set up on a TRIPOD in plain view.

They sit and glass with bino's for a few minutes then HE pulls IT out and takes a leak nearly in her face. She then almost immediately drops her drawers (remember she had on a PURPLE thong) and does the same thing nearly on his boots. They then both LAUGH out loud for 20-30 seconds. Apparently some sort of personal joke. VERY strange IMHO.



Out hunting on the Continental Divide west of Helena, MT back in 1980. Accesible country but still pretty much middle of nowhere stuff. Sit down under an overhang of some rocks and sitting behind a few rocks leaned against the rock face is a silver spoon. A heavy,pure silver guy with the USN Anchor on the end of it. And "Officers Mess Pensacola FLA" on the back side. I looked around but never found anymore. Always wondered if it was part of a mess of stolen silverware or dropped by a hunter doing the same thing I was doing,sitting in a comfortable spot with a good view having lunch.





FN in MT



BLUE,



Where they a TROPHY pair???

Frank

It has been so long ago that I really don't remember exactly what "they" looked like. I just remember taking that last step and noticing them, watching them for maybe a minute, noticing her fanning, noticing him setting a trap, and then quietly going back in the direction I came from.
It was surreal, to say the least.

Blue

I once found a money box hidden under some bushes, close to a parking lot. It was empty ( ) and turned out being from a bank robbery close by.

When I was eleven, I went bow hunting with my dad for deer for the first time. We had scouted this area for atleast a month and a nice buck would come out of the thick at 11 every morning. So we set up at first light, my dad about fifty yards from me. I laid down next to a fallen log and just waited patiently. About 9 we could hear the brush rustling in the distance and thought maybe the buck was early. But it was just some other hunter coming through. I just watched him creep towards me and walk on top of the log I was laying next to. Then he suddenly stops right above me and unzips his pants to take a leak. I couldn't take it so I yelled "hey" as loud as I could. Wouldn't you believe he jumped about four feet in the air and landed on his back. My dad and I laugh so hard for hours I think we scared every deer even remotely close. From then on I was hooked on hunting.

Not a hunting story but it is sexual:

My sophmore year in high school our local church went on a camping and canoe trip in Florida. I was sharing a canoe with my stepmother and all the canoes ( maybe fifteen or so were pretty well clumped together in a little flottila). As we came around a bend in the river there was this naked guy standing on the inside bank, ankle deep in water. Just standing there. As each canoe made round the bend you hear the gasps of most of the ladies of the church. Averting thier eyes and saying how shocked and appaled they were. Well this just egged the guy on and he started smiling and waving and performing pelvic thrusts to these outraged women. When our canoe rounded the bend my stepmom just busts out laughing, pointing laughing somemore. I never heard her laugh so much. This guy gets angry and takes a few steps toward us when I hold up the canoe paddle like a baseball bat. IF he made to the boat I was going to club the shit outta him. Then he got embarrased and ran off into the woods.

The next canoe behind us was my dad with my step sister & step brother. They made it around just in time to see this guy tearing off into the woods. My step sister shreaks and my dad laughs as my step mom is dangling her pinky finger in the air.

3 years ago in spring 3 of us were riding atv's in our hunting area scouting the new clear cuts for sign/sheds when my brother spots something in the middle of a small cut. He goes to check it out while me a the other guy are hanging out looking for sign when he starts yelling "YOU GUYS! THERE'S A DEAD GUY HERE"! Sure enough we go up to where he was and there is a decomposing dead guy laying there with his pants half down, new Nike tennis shoes and a purple sweater. We ride to a high point and call 911 on a cell phone and we end up meeting a rescue team back at camp and they followed us back to the DB (dead body) in 4x4's. The guy had been missing for several months and apparently had gone undiscovered due to the snow covering him all winter. There were suspicious details that lead us to believe he was dragged to where we found him. We were in the local newpaper and everything. THEN, another time when we were sighting in our rifles next to some railroad tracks when we saw smoke that grew into a good sized fire so we called 911. Obviously they could see smoke when they arrived but we direct them into the area via a small two track passing an old van. Upon further inspection, the fire dept. approached the van only to find a DB inside! Now we jokingly claim every debris pile holds a DB and we don't look further.

Hunting in a stand next to a creek, I watched a squirrel approach a hickory nut on the creek's bank. The squirrel would approach the nut, get nervous and back away. He did this three or four times before he finally picked up the nut. Suddenly, a huge catfish lunged out the water and devoured the squirrel in a single gulp. This was strange, but the stagest thing was seeing that catfish nudge another hickory nut onto the bank.

Well this isn't a hunting story but how about fishing. In my early twenties I took my girlfriend to the lake for a little fishing. I couldn't see any other boats nearby as I pulled into a secluded cove. Since the fishing was slow I came up with a brilliant idea. Why not go skinnydipping. I removed my clothes and dove in. My girlfriend was a bit hesitant about this on a public lake so she was still in the boat. Having my mind on other things I didn't notice this old geezer and his wife bearing down on us with his super quiet trolling motor. I am hanging on the back of the motor with just my head sticking out of the water when a voice yells out "hey young feller, what's wrong you got a stick hung in your prop? Need some help?" Panic stikes. I tell the girlfriend to hurry and hand me my shorts. She shakes her head no and busts out laughing. I tell the old geezer "No sir I got the prop clear, Thanks but everything is okay." The old geezers fished that cove for over an hour.
Finally they left and I was able to get back in the boat. My daddy always told me "ladies first" Now I know what he meant.

We were hunting deer on our ranch the first weekend of the season which starts in August. Our ranch overlooks Hwy 1 and the beach. As we were moving from one area to another to do another drive, we came to the top of the ridge to find two people naked on a sleeping bag. The rest of us just snickered and drove on by but my grandfather takes his jeep and practically drives onto the sleeping bag saying "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you know this is private property?" Can you imagine that poor guy thinking he was out in the middle of nowhere and having 3 pickup loads of guys with guns driving by? He probably is a good candidate for Viagra
Russ

Mine is not a hunting story, but a rifle sighting in story. Many yrs ago I had a cheap skate friend that wanted to start hunting whitetails in south texas. He had a friend he went to school with that had a gun shop, so he promply went down and bought a cheap 30-30 with cheaper scope, which does not make the best south texas deer rifle. He was to cheap to pay $3 bucks to shoot at the range. So he watched me shoot 2 or 3 of my guns at the local Corpus Christi Texas gun range. After I finished he ask me if I would drive him to Oso Creek and he would set up a target on the creek bank. So he set a target up on the bank, and stepped back, keep in mind he is shooting slightly upwards toward the bank. About the time he shot, a guy flew by in an ultralite plane about 200-300 yds behind us about 50 yds off the brush. When he shot the guy turned and droped down out of sight, I couldnt resist to yell, you shot him out of the sky, knowing this guy was a long way off and much higher, not a chance in hell he even came close, his bullet hit the creek bank. But the timing of this guy turning and droping down couldnt have been better, I guess he landed because you could not hear the engine. My friend when ape shit, running around in the bush looking for this guy flying the ultralite he thought he shot out of the sky. I just set on the tailgate of my truck and laughed. He came back to the truck, I said we better get out of here. I never said a word, took him to his house and to this day I bet he still wonders if he shot that guy out of the sky.

sounds to me like this M16 guy very well could have been the one at the beaver dam. keep um coming this thread has made me laugh my ass off

My "best friend" Brett tells this story about me to whoever will listen.

Max and I were hunting and decided to check out two areas a little ways apart. I'd covered my area, then went to where Max was supposed to be. Didn't see him, but knew how he would hide next to a bush at times.
Looking around the area, I saw five buzzards flying low. Couldn't understand, but some inkling made me think of Max. Three were hovering low, when two decided to land. All of a sudden, Max popped up, two buzzards exploded up and all five of the buzzards left post haste. Just Max playing dead.

While hunting in Northern Minnesota, I was up in this tree when one of these little chipmonk critters, goes up in the tree next to me and makes enough noise to alert every deer from Wisconsin to Canada.

Finally I had had enough of throwing stuff at him to make him take off. So I put my cross hairs on him and let a 180 grain bullet out of a 30/06 loose on him and he is cut in half.

I have no idea where the lower half went, but the upper half of him, was like something frozen in time. He had his eyes open and the expression on his face like the moment of impact.

Well since I had set off a shot, all deer were really alerted at this point, so it was time to move or walk some. I grabbed the upper half of the little chipmonk, by the ear and just sort of carried it along with me to have something to laugh at back at the truck.

About 1/2 a mile down a snowmobile trail in the woods, I heard some rustling down in a swamp, off the side of a hill the trail was on. Also just to the side of the trail was a 2 foot stump with a hole in the top of it. So i just sat the upper half of the chipmonk in the hole, and went about 75 yds off of the trail.

20 to 30 minutes later, here comes my wife's 16 yr old, 6/10 inch size 15 shoed, youngest brother, down the trail. I hear him coming and just watch him whistling along the trail going back to the trucks to get lunch.

Suddenly, I hear him stop whistling so I look back up at the trail and see him. All of a sudden he is putting on this big slow sneak, like he hears something or sees something.

I did not dawn on me at first. He sneaks real slowly from tree to tree, with his gun poised ready to go into action. He does not realize, I am 75 yrds away watching him.

Finally I realize, that he is putting the sneak on this "chipmonk" that I had put on the stump. He came closer and closer to it, and it never moved, because it was dead.
But he did not know that.

Finally when he gets right up to it, it still does not move, so he slowly points his muzzle to it until he finally pokes it once, and it does not move. He pokes it a second time it does not move. So finally he reaches out and touches its ear and it still does not move. Then he slowly grabs the ear and started to pick it up.

At that point I yell out real loud "Paul, LOOK OUT!. He jumped about 10 feet in the air and slings the chipmonk about 50 feet. His face is red and his heart is beating a mile a minute. MY coming up laughing my fanny off did not help his embarrassement one bit!

Aw hunting!

Cheers and Good shooting
seafire

seafire -- you are evil!

Good one!

jpb