Saw this on another board, and just had to post it here!

Hunting affective disorder makes its annual return
The Country Today ^ | 10-5-05


Posted on 10/05/2005 7:35:46 PM CDT by SJackson


The frost is on the pumpkins, the hay is in the barn and our bedtime conversations are starting to have that familiar hunting season ring to them.

As the days shorten and we begin spending evenings around the woodstove, our cozy bedtime chats usually begin with him saying something like, "I think I'll pick up a box of this new rimfire super-charged blow-your-eyes-out-the-back-of-your-head-with-the-recoil ammo and give it a try."

I've found over the years that the best response is a simple, "Yes, dear." Actually, a grunt would work fine too. At this time of year it's only sound, not content, that registers.

I've tried saying things like, "Oh, let me read you this part in my book where he sweeps her breathlessly into his arms," or, "Why don't I just set your double-barrel here so you can talk to it instead of bothering me?"

But neither hints nor sarcasm register when dealing with a man in the throes of his annual bout of hunting affective disorder.

Most people have heard of SAD, or seasonal affective disorder. It causes a certain light-sensitive percentage of the population to become moody and depressed when the days shorten in fall and winter.

Hunting affective disorder, or HAD, affects a high percentage of male Wisconsin residents. The primary symptom is that their brain circuits short out in early fall and anything not having to do with hunting no longer appears on their radar.

In terms of mental abilities, the HAD sufferer is just not there anymore. A month ago, I could have asked whether he'd talked to his mother lately and I would've gotten a coherent answer. Now he can't remember if he has a mother.

He's developed a tendency to drift off downstairs because he suddenly needs to completely disassemble his deer rifle to make sure there are no rust spots in the whatyamacallit and while doing so drops a miniscule but critical screw behind the reloading bench.

This entails several hours of excavating through old shot-shell hulls, half-full bottles of gun cleaning fluids, dust bunnies and various nameless small doodads that sounded like a neat thing at the gun shop but are now mercifully retired.

By the time the screw is recovered, I've finished paying the bills, called the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and gone to bed, all without even a passing thought about rimfire cartridges.

The long evening phone conversations with his brothers about the annual duck trip have begun. They start with "don't forget to bring the camp pillows" and then tail off into reminiscing about the time Tenner's dog stole a duck from Geary's dog and there was a big dog fight and how when the hunters tried to break it up they nearly swamped the boat and wasn't that a hoot?

I have to confess that some of the stories are pretty good.

But upland game and duck season HAD pale in comparison to deer season HAD.

Now the rituals start. We wash the hunting clothes in scentless soap and hang them out on the screen porch. The rifles have to be sighted in. Stands are checked, and there is wailing and gnashing of teeth over how the firing lanes didn't get cleared last spring. The kit must be assembled, with sharp knife, tow rope, compass and so on. The license is lovingly inserted into the plastic case and pinned on the parka with one of those silly-looking giant safety pins.

Lastly comes the organizing of the guys. Who is coming when to hunt where and do they want to sit in a stand, still hunt or drive? Can Eddie sleep in Phil's room the night before opener since Phil won't be home 'til the following weekend? Paul said he'd bring chili, so we need to make the cornbread. Randy wants the stand on the west 40 so Butch will need to do his still hunting out back.

Once this is done, I have to make my decision. Do I want to:

A: Run the coffee and chili detail, sitting in the kitchen while the hunters wander in and out and have endless discussions of current strategy and previous hunts?

B: Buy a license and go out and sit on a stand for a while where at least it's quiet and there's no dishes to do, though I know I'm going to freeze?

C: Call a friend and go shopping?

If I liked to shop, this would not be such an issue.

There's one thing I won't do. I'm not going to clean up behind the reloading bench. If I did that, there wouldn't be anything to keep him busy in fall when it's too dark outside to hunt.

Ann Hansen covers news in west-central Wisconsin and is the country options and master stockman sections editor for The Country Today. She may be reached at shansen@bloomer.net.

- mike