My brother and I, who are lifetime hunting partners, are attempting to introduce a mutual friend into deer/elk hunting this year at his request. However, on the first weekend trip he showed up in camp 3 hours late when he was supposed to be there before us and totally didn't show up the next weekend (said he couldn't find us eventhough we chose a place he knew fairly well and we had the paper plate sign out for directions). He's invested over $1,000.00 into clothes and a rifle but we're inclined to tell him to shove off already.

Anybody else ever deal with this type of thing before? Are we being too impatient with him?

[ 10-30-2002, 00:20: Message edited by: DennisHP ]

Is he normally late to stuff? Does he have a family or other obligations he has to take care of first? Also, so what if he -is- late, are you doing a drive or something else that he is needed for or just think that he "needs" to be there at a certain time?

I've seen many different types, some who like to say they are the modern-day Daniel Boone then are just lazy slugs in camp, to others that have always wanted to hunt all their life and to do it they work a double shift and have to take the kids to their parents two hours away......

What I've learned to do is not judge others, he obviously wants to do this since he brought it up and has invested money in things, just don't paint yourself into a corner and depend on him to be at any place by a certain time, and let him figure the rest out by himself.

I had a similar experience this fall.A fellow who had applied for seven years with me finally drew an antelope tag with me never practised or prepared until a few days before the hunt.He had never shot at any animal over 75 yards or so and I explained to him that he should be prepared to shoot 200 to 300 yards in order to hunt antelope.I kept urging him to make time to practise and prepair but he kept making excuses.He went out to the range once then proclaimed he was ready.When his chance came he missed a buck at 170 yards six times before wounding it and I had to finish it.Good hunting partners are hard to find and although I try to help new hunters I will no longer spend time on people who make no effort themselves.Tell this fellow straight that unless he makes an effort you will waste no more time on him.

It would be harsh, but you might stand him up. Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there and if he's not on time, you and your brother keep moving.

If he says anything, that would be a good time to remind him about the importance of being on time. Okie John.

Good Idea okie john.
And for kickers make it out in the boonies, someplace where you can hunker down and see him when he gets there.
Good Luck and I hope he gets the message.

Tell him where you are going to be camped.
If he shows fine, if not then . . . fine.
Go on without him and enjoy your hunt!
LouisB
Just an opinion of course!

Don't play his game, but don't let him ruin your hunt either. Don't count on him for anything.

If you are going to do something, or be somewhere, at a certain time, let him know you aren't going to wait, and for him to catch up later, then do it.

A young person, or an interested hunter, will be embarrassed and learn from his mistake. An older person, or someone not truely interested, is probably too set in his ways, and you need to ease him out of your circle of hunting pals.

The worst case I ever saw was when I was about 18. I hunted mule deer with my brother-in-law and his dad. I was the hunter of the group, the others just liked getting out in the mountains each year.

My b-i-l invited a man that happened to be an ex-FBI agent. The man was not ready when we went to pick him up the day before the season. We couldn't get him moving early on opening morning, and the sun had topped the mountain by the time we got out of camp. Drove me crazy.

By noon he began "organizing" us. Giving orders and telling us the strategy for the afternoon. I could tell he was not a hunter. He just liked being in charge.

I told my b-i-l I wasn't going to play the game. When Mr. FBI heard I wasn't in agreement, he was pissed. I left them for the afternoon hunt.

By evening I had my buck hanging in camp, the others spent the next three days stumbling around the mountains behind Mr. FBI and got skunked. By then my b-i-l was worn out.

We all agreed the man would not hunt with us again, and although he brought the subject up again the following year, my b-i-l didn't take the bait.

Thanks for responses. We've let him know again not to be late so we'll see what happens. If he shows, he shows. If not, his loss.

I have a GOOD friend who was once gone when I was ten minutes late (I've gotten kind of sloppy since I retured). Before I saw him again that week, I heard from people who'd known him longer that five minutes was his limit. Or maybe it was zero - I don't remember. Back to military habits for me. Wasn't his fault I wasn't there.

Yankees can be like that, but it works.

Now if I could only get my wife to tell time. I have to regularly lie to her by at least fifteen minutes on how long it takes to get someplace.

Something occured to me while I was reading the replies from a bunch of dyed-in-the-wool hunters. Teaching this guy why it's important to be on time may be as important to making him a hunter as getting him into the right gear.

Each year, we only get a few weeks (in some cases a few days) to hunt. In some places, being in the field on Opening Day is a make-or-break deal, so those hunters really have just one day each year. Because of this, we don't want to waste even a single minute.

On the other hand, tennis players, skiers and golfers can always try again tomorrow. But an ethical hunter has one shot at Glory each year, and for me, the 350 days between the last day of the season and the next Opening Day get longer every year.

The upshot is that not everyone is as hardcore as we are. You might need to sit this guy down and tell him why it's important to be on time. If he cleans up his act, then you may have a good hunting partner. If not, you can always quit hunting with him.

Unwritten rule of waiting for friends:

1) You wait approximately 10 minutes for a buddy, and then leave and let him catch up. This rule holds unless he calls you before the 10 minutes is up to let you know his exact new ETA or if there is some other extenuating circumstance like dangerous road conditions where the guy may have gotten himself in trouble. This rule is nice for all involved because if you are running a half hour behind for some reason (flat tire, whatever), you know your buddies won't be screwed up too and will just do their own thing. As the tardy person you can then choose to catch up or opt out.

2) If a girl is late you also wait for at least 10 minutes. The difference is that you must also wait an additional 10 minutes for every point over 5 she scores on the 10 pt Hotness Scale. (eg. you wait at least 50 minutes for a solid 9) These of course are just minimums.

Canuck

I don't wait around anymore. Leave a note with good directions to a rendezvous.

I wait for no one when its hunting season and wouldn't expect someone to wait for me. One opening day of deer season I was to pick up a friend at 5am. I drove 30min to his house and was on time. Needless to say the house was dark and no signs of life so I went deer hunting without him. He was on time from then on.

Our rule is "the 15 min rule". If you're 15 mins late you're on your own. It's amazing how well it works.

email me with the details when he's ready to sell the gear and rifle.

Ski+3

My dad didn't miss opening day of duck season even though my mom was in labor and about to give birth to my sister. Dad showed up with scrubs on!

With some of the blocks of woods we hunt in Wisconsin if you are not there on time you don't go in. We all go in at the same time and schedule a sneak and peek walkout for a certain times to push deer to each other. You have to sit your late butt on the edge of the fields and wait to meet up with the guys. A good thing about late hunters though. I use the slobs on the next piece of land over to scare the deer to me on opening weekend. I set up in the escape funnels about an hour and a half before daylight. They neighbors come crashing through the woods twenty minutes before light and as the deer slowly make their way to sanctuary they ease right by about sunup. Hey, whatever works.

Skibum+3, I've already got dibbs on the Scentlok coat and pants but you can have the Remington 710.