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The North American Chipmunk. Simply uttering these words sends a chill down the spine of even the hardest veteran of dangerous game hunts. The wilds of Northern Virginia are heavily populated with these illusive yet deadly animals. Having a close brush with a particularly boisterous chipmunk that has taken residence in one of my flower beds and exacted untold damage to the foliage, I decided to rid our yard of……..ATILA the MUNK!! (add dramatic horror movie soundtrack here) With the decision made, I decided to set out immediately before I could come to my senses and not pursue such a hazardous quarry. I would be confronting my deepest fear and reaching down deep inside myself to conjure up the intestinal fortitude to face the North American Chipmunk. The weapon of choice would have to be capable of decapitating a squirrel with a single shot. I had just such a weapon in my arsenal……a custom Ruger Super Redhawk in .475 Linebaugh. Slinging a 420 grain chunk of lead at a smoldering 1,350 fps, I hoped with all my heart that I would be packing enough gun……… The night before the big hunt, I baited the flower beds with salted sunflower seeds purchased from the local super market. I liberally spread the seeds hoping they would draw out Atila onto the open battlefields of suburbia!! I just hoped I would stand this ultimate test of bravery and not wilt at the site of the striped fur-ball of fury!! I made a makeshift blind out of discarded Saks Fifth Avenue boxes next to that permanent fixture in the yard, the gas barbeque. I got into my blind one hour before sunlight with my heart pounding in my chest in anticipation of the big hunt…….. With a clear view of the rose bed, and the sun just breaking over the east fence by the pool, the squirrels and birds began their morning song. But all at once the morning serenade stopped. I eagerly yet nervously scanned the yard in hopes of spotting Atila before he got wind of my intrusive presence on his territory. The tension was so thick you could cut the air with a sharp Cuisinart on puree. Then, the unexpected happened! The monster of my nightmares poked his head through the opening of my blind!! His beady eyes saw right through my soul, his cheeks bulging with his winter sustenance, the acrid smell of his sunflower seed breath coursing between his buck teeth, caused my head to spin and my knees to go weak. I nearly lost the contents of my bowels, as my heart jumped up into my throat, beating a mile a second. It was go time! Having seen every Clint Eastwood western dozens of times and having practiced in front of the full-length mirror of the coat closet, my reflexes were as sharp as a broken No. 2 pencil. I drew that big Ruger from its holster, simultaneously cocking the hammer in one smooth move! Sensing imminent Linebaugh danger, the Chipmunk from hell gracefully turned his head and started his move to more open ground. The Ruger belched fire, shattering the peace of the Washington suburb. The big, flat-nosed, 81% meplatted hardcast bullet slammed into the shoulder of the retreating spawn of Satan, traveling through the boiler room and breaking the offside shoulder on its exit. The bullet continued on into the swimming pool, borrowing deep into the side of the pool, proving that those guys on “Mythbuster†are full of it. Atila crashed face first to the brick floor of the porch, sliding to a halt against a citronella Tiki torch, and uttering the telltale death bellow while exhaling his last breath………(que up "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" from the Wizzard of Oz soundtrack) My brush with death was over, and save for the involuntary loss of bodily control forcing me to wash my undergarments, I was still whole……. One shot was all that was needed, but I was lucky. "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | ||
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One of Us |
Dear God man. Are you crazy? Those are very mean animals! You could have been killed. Next time you call back shooters. There is no shame in admiting you need back up. CYA man CYA!! MM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.../watch?v=qVQc386js7g www.setfreesoldiers.com www.soldiermade.com Montana Maddness Set Free Ministries MT. 7 days with out meat makes one Weak! | |||
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Moderator |
Yes, I took a chance, but I feel it was a necessary one. The yard (and the flower beds ) are once again safe........ "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
With a dangerous animal like that you should have put in a couple of insurance shots for safety. Good Hunting, | |||
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David, but I heard the death bellow, so I knew the game was over........ "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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one of us |
Full mount or just a shoulder mount? Maybe a rug for the fireplace. If you're going to make a hole, make it a big one. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ Member of the Delaware Destroyers Member Reeders Misfits NRA Life Member ENDOWMENT MEMBER NAHC Life Member DSA Life Member | |||
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I'm thinking full body mount, but don't really have the room for it...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
I'll bet it was a high fence concession and probably put and take. | |||
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I would classify these chipmunks as free ranging despite the fences of suburbia, believe me when I say that the biggest of fences can’t contain these creatures!! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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one of us |
Linebaugh ? It's not a T-rex , only a chipmunk. The only one I've shot is with a 380 acp. Now when you get to an attacking woodchuck then use your Linebaugh ! | |||
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Moderator |
A woodchuck?! You must be joking! I nearly used my .450 Ackley on this monster! The North American Chipmunk is number 4,438 on the list of most dangerous animals in the world! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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I don't think those chain-link fences are but four feet high. Whitworth, you're an inspiration to all handgun hunters. Keep it up as long as your nerves can handle it. If ignorance is bliss; there are some blissful sonofaguns around here. We know who you are, so no reason to point yourselves out. | |||
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Hitman, I do my best.......it's a heavy burden to carry, but someone has to do it.......Thank you for the kind words...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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Let one start working on the end of your shoe and he goes to NUMBER 1 with a bullet, pun intended. If ignorance is bliss; there are some blissful sonofaguns around here. We know who you are, so no reason to point yourselves out. | |||
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Yes indeed! Here you can clearly see the high shoulder shot as he was quartering away...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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one of us |
Man that sure has some big feet... What's the teeth measurement, that looks like a book Chipmunk. If you're going to make a hole, make it a big one. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ Member of the Delaware Destroyers Member Reeders Misfits NRA Life Member ENDOWMENT MEMBER NAHC Life Member DSA Life Member | |||
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One of Us |
ROTFLMAO Whitworth, that's gotta be a classic. But there is a note of truth in your story. I've been in a blind when a chipmunk was chased by a mad as hell red squirrel. They did loops around me while I squealed like a little girl trying to smack them out of there. All the while sitting there with a .300 Win Mag across my lap looking for black bear. Go figure. RETIRED Taxidermist | |||
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It'll definitely go Boone & Crocket -- maybe even number 1! I'm just happy to have survived...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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Moderator |
Hey George, What makes the comedy funny to me, is the thread of truth that runs through it. If ignorance is bliss; there are some blissful sonofaguns around here. We know who you are, so no reason to point yourselves out. | |||
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Don't underestimate the danger involved in facing an angry rodent that weights all of 9-ounces! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
And what are you going to do with the tusks? Also, it doesn't look like the bullet expanded. Because of the poor choice of bullet, you almost lost your trophy. It could have been a long and laborious tracking job. I just wanted you to see the mouse I got with my cat last night. | |||
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Moderator |
That's a fine mouse!! Will you have it mounted? I have several European mouse mounts -- you know, skull mounts...... I used a hardcast bullet as I wanted maximum penetration. No expansion necessary when you are starting with a .475-inch hole! These are notoriously thick-skinned rodents! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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And all my cat brings me are copperheads and rabbits; boy do I fell cheated. If ignorance is bliss; there are some blissful sonofaguns around here. We know who you are, so no reason to point yourselves out. | |||
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You obviously need a dangerous game cat...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
Hey Whitworth My guys at work just loved the recount of your hunt today. One of the reasons was that last week my service writer was attacked by a squirel. The thing fell down his chimney and was running around the livingroom. Jody being Jody cornered it and then grabed it with his bare hands. Bit and scrathedthe crap out of him. So one the way to the medical clinic for his tetnis shot. It dawns on him. Hey maybe I should have worn a glove. You really need to hear him tell it to get the full hummer out of the story. He is very animated! MM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.../watch?v=qVQc386js7g www.setfreesoldiers.com www.soldiermade.com Montana Maddness Set Free Ministries MT. 7 days with out meat makes one Weak! | |||
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Moderator |
LOL!! That's funny!! Sqirrels can be mean -- not quite as mean or dangerous as a chipmunk, but mean nonetheless! I am glad to hear that they enjoyed the story!! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
Are you going to Butcher it yourself????Looks like no neck roast to me. | |||
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Yes, I already butchered it -- I lost the shoulders but still have the hams and back-straps...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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hey Whitworth, I've never seen a custom super redhawk in .475 linebaugh. Who put it together? | |||
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Welcome to the forum, tony! It was built by Jack Huntington (530/268-6877) and features a 5-shot cylinder that he built. It's the most accurate handgun I have ever shot. It'll shoot way better than I am capable of. I am very happy with it! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
make a heck of a hood ornament ''People should say what they mean and mean what they say. Life is too short to be lead down the wrong path.'' | |||
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Moderator |
Yep, on a big 4X4!! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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new member |
cool! any chance of more pics of the gun? | |||
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one of us |
is it going to the taxidermist? A head mount in the den would look great! | |||
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one of us |
I'm sure glad you didn't display the exit hole. It might cause a stir! I wonder if taxidermy supply has a body form that large???? | |||
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tony c -- I will send you a PM with more photos. Standby! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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Moderator |
Lloyd, I'm thinking full body mount, but I don't really have the room for it. I may have to add a room onto the house -- I am in negotiations with my wife...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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Moderator |
LOL, bfrshooter! I displayed my trophy tastefully! "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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One of Us |
Dear Whitworth, Well, I almost had a hunt book for one of those fur covered saw-toothed meat-grinding killers, but the fear that I always had in the back of my mind all came back to me with the telling of your heart stopping confrontation ! I think the nightmares would haunt me forever if I made it out alive ! I always thought there should have been a "BIG 6" instead of the "BIG 5". I'm proud to have had postings answered by you and only wish I could someday speak to you to hear more of these battles of life, limb & death. Please take care ! Chris | |||
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Chris, thank you for the kind words. I am seriously thinking of starting a support group for those of us traumatized by chipmunks and other rodents. I don't feel brave, just lucky...... I am sure I will be haunted by this for a very long time...... "Ignorance you can correct, you can't fix stupid." JWP If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming. Semper Fidelis "Building Carpal Tunnel one round at a time" | |||
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